IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In the modern world, some
people
Use synonyms
 want to create their
jobs
Correct word choice
own jobs
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, so self-employment has a variety of effects on society that could have drawbacks
such
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 as overwhelming responsibilities. I reckon that a crucial number of
people
Use synonyms
 possess their own companies so that they can have flexible working hours
as well as
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This
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 essay will discuss the pros and cons of self-employment.
To begin
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 with, the most significant benefit of being self-employed is that
people
Use synonyms
 can organize their schedules and working styles.
For instance
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, whenever they feel drained, they may find out opportunity to sleep in and avoid rush-hour commuters.
Therefore
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, they can make independent decisions without discussing with someone from a higher-priority group.
Besides
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, they can enhance their productivity by determining crucial decisions by themselves. To illustrate, the Turkish Statistics Foundation states that 70% of Turkish graduates are eager to establish their company to achieve their goals in 2024.
On the other hand
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, there are some cons to these self-employed decisions.
In other words
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, providing a person begins and manages her own business, she will apply for some assistance in the future since creating a business is a challenging
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
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. Unless she discovers the most convenient ways to develop her business, she will be devastated by a heavy burden
According to
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 an article I read, some experts assume that two million self-employed
people
Use synonyms
 will lose their jobs worldwide
due to
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 their unbearable job discipline and burden In conclusion, I concur that working for one’s job provides an employer with a great deal of freedom despite overpowering job responsibilities thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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freedom; As a Turkish proverb says, “everything comes with a price as more freedom equals more responsibility.”

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion structure. Make sure your essay begins with an introduction that paraphrases the question and outlines your answer. Conclude with a paragraph that summarizes the main points.
logical structure
Ideas are presented without clear logical connectors or proper paragraphing, which affects the overall flow and readability. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together.
supported main points
Main points should be developed with further explanation, and supported by specific examples or evidence. Enhance your explanation by elaborating on how your points support your argument.
complete response
Make sure you fully address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion on both the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas and present them in a more structured and comprehensible manner. Avoid ambiguity and adhere to the topic by developing connected ideas clearly.
relevant specific examples
Support your main points with relevant examples or data. Quoting statistics is effective, but ensure they are plausible and directly related to the argument you are making.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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