The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position.

In
this
concurrent age, the
internet
is better suited for a variety of people's lives than
television
.
Therefore
, its usability has grown in popularity among them since it could assist them with their daily tasks. I agree with
this
notion and will explain every part by citing
illustration
Fix the agreement mistake
illustrations
show examples
and conclude with my standpoint.
To begin
with, the
internet
delivers flexibility and features that may be accessed from anywhere as long as it has access to the network. It supports people who want to enjoy news and entertainment but are unable to bring their
television
with them wherever they go.
For instance
, students are not permitted to bring their televisions with them on field trips, yet they are permitted to use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Since it is wireless, information can be accessed by any device. On the other side, by utilizing the
internet
, the marketing allocation for product development might be reduced.
According to
the Indonesia Times magazine, by 2020, Indonesians will be the largest society using social media as their secondary news source. Simultaneously, citizens who use social media, which is globally connected, draw the attention of digital marketers more than
television
.
Furthermore
, some businesses have abandoned
television
advertising in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of leveraging social media to launch their products and services. In conclusion, the portable
Internet
allows a wide range of people to access information from anywhere. At the same time,
this
tremendous attention has aided marketers in lowering the production costs of services and products by requiring fewer advertisements than TV.
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coherence cohesion
There are issues with the logical structure and progression of the essay. Sentences at times do not flow logically from one to the next, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Ensuring smoother transitions and clearer connections between ideas would benefit the essay's coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be developed further to encapsulate your key arguments and reiterate your position more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported, additional development and detail could strengthen the argument. Strive for depth in your illustrations and explanations to underpin your stance.
task achievement
The response addresses the topic and provides an opinion as required; however, the response could be improved by more fully developing and extending all parts of the question throughout the essay. This includes presenting a more nuanced argument that weighs both sides, even if ultimately taking a clear stance.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant but occasionally lack comprehensive explanation and depth. Aim to expound upon your ideas with clearer reasoning and expanded discussion that delves into the complexity of the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes examples, but they are limited in detail and scope. For a higher score, candidates should aim to provide more specific and varied examples that clearly support their arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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