There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, encouraging them to buy toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisements claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Advertising sectors are
widely
nowadays so that some Change the word
wide
advartisers
are doing Correct your spelling
advertisers
the
target Correct article usage
apply
at
Change preposition
apply
children
and sell the
Correct article usage
apply
toys
and snacks
, though some advartisers
Correct your spelling
advertisers
are
want to give useful Unnecessary verb
apply
informations
to Change the wording
information
pieces of information
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
. Parents
are worried about the advertisements
and they want to give useful informations
to their Change the wording
information
pieces of information
children
via advertisements
. In my opinion, some of
Change preposition
apply
children
are provided about their social study via online advertisements
so i
think that's Change the capitalization
I
good
Correct article usage
a good
ideas
. Fix the agreement mistake
idea
On the other
Hand
, Selling Fix capitalization
hand
toys
and snacks
for children
on
Change preposition
in
advertisements
are supported to develop children's
Change preposition
of children's
pleasure
.
Many copetative
on Correct your spelling
competitors
market
Correct article usage
the market
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
develop
Replace the word
the development
to
our modern lifestyles. That's Change preposition
of
effected
our life and Correct your spelling
affected
chirdern's
Correct your spelling
children's
education
. In fact, the
Correct article usage
apply
children
able
to get what they want even when they are young. They would get it and don't be afraid Add a missing verb
are able
anything
wrong. In many cases, the advertisement's sectors are included for Change preposition
of anything
children
because they sell the
Correct article usage
apply
toys
, snacks
and other things such
as games. They also
make promotions for selling to the children
. Many parents
are pirority
their Correct your spelling
priority
children
health, development and education
. So, they care and too much worry about the product and their advertisements
. On the other hand
, the children
able
to develop their research skills Add a missing verb
are able
doing
something Change preposition
by doing
such
as buying toys
and snacks
when they see the
advertising online or Correct article usage
apply
TV
. Change preposition
on TV
For example
, my nephaw
can use and manage Correct your spelling
nephew
upon
the Change preposition
apply
advertisements
, although
; he was 7 years old. Because he always see
the Change the verb form
sees
avdertisments
for Correct your spelling
advertisements
advertisement
childern
online. That's why we need Correct your spelling
children
advertisements
for children
.
In our childhood, we create the
Correct article usage
apply
pleasure
with family and friend
. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
Likewise
, our chidren
would like to do that but the Correct your spelling
children
time
are changing so Fix the agreement mistake
times
style
of living Correct article usage
the style
are
modified, too. Later 2020, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
they search their
Change preposition
for their
pleasure
and information for education
such
as books, toys
, snacks
, Correct word choice
and cloths
cloths
from online platforms. They can able to research and discuss with their friends about the Correct your spelling
clothes
advertisements
. Something cann't
be Correct your spelling
can't
understand
Wrong verb form
understood
for
Change preposition
by
parents
. Parents
need to learn from their children
about new style
of Fix the agreement mistake
styles
peasure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
pressure
in
Change preposition
apply
children
. So that the parents
can be understand
their Change the verb form
understand
children
's health, education
and life pleasure
. Advertisers are making to
more sell for Change preposition
apply
children
's accessories and included for
good Wrong verb form
including
idea
for their products. Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
Nowaday
they make more Correct your spelling
Nowadays
safe
for Correct word choice
safer
children
. For example
, in our country Change the capitalization
Myanmar
myanmar
the Add a comma
myanmar,
advitisers
show the Correct your spelling
advertisers
products
quality in the Change noun form
product's
products'
advertisments
. Correct your spelling
advertisements
Children
would be tested in their life
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Encouraing
of Correct your spelling
Encouraging
advertisements
are
not big Correct subject-verb agreement
is
cases
for our Fix the agreement mistake
case
children
. So, as
Correct word choice
apply
parents
should'nt
be worried about that too much. Our Correct your spelling
shouldn't
children
can critize
the Correct your spelling
criticise
benifit
of Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
advertisements
in the modern world that we live.
Change preposition
in.
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introduction/conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that presents the topic and a clear conclusion that summarises your main points and opinion. This helps the reader understand your position and the structure of your argument.
logical structure
Develop a clear logical structure within paragraphs and across the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and sequential information that support that idea. Use linking words to connect sentences and ideas, helping the reader follow your logic.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear, detailed, and relevant examples. Examples should be specific and directly related to the point you are making, they should clarify and illustrate your argument, not just restate your point.
complete response
The response must fully address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to discuss both views presented in the prompt and your own opinion cohesively to achieve a complete response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your ideas are clear and easily understood. Avoid overcomplicated sentences or vocabulary that might confuse the reader. Comprehensive ideas are critical for the reader to understand your points fully.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant and specific examples to back up your points. Examples should be related to the ideas you are discussing and help to illustrate your arguments effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite