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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
#proportion #population #three #countries
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The line chart
illustate
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illustrates
illustrate
 the
precentage
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percentage
 of people aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in three
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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countries
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of countries
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, namely
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Sweden and the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the rate of
Correct article usage
the ederly
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ederly
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elderly
 population
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
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steady
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steadily
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from
Change preposition
since
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 1940,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 expectancy is predicted to rise significantly until 2040. Looking for more details, the rate of
individulas
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individuals
 who are
ederly
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elderly
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan has
rise
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risen
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 significantly from 5 % to over 25%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
population
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the population
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 aged 65 and over in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Sweden rise gradually
started
Verb problem
increased from
show examples
 around 7% to under 20% and in Japan will
increase
Use synonyms
 sharply
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2040. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the number of people aged 65 and over in the USA
was
Wrong verb form
increased
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increase
Use synonyms
steady
Change the adjective
steadily
show examples
 from around 10% to around 17% from 1940 to 2023.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, the prediction of
rate
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the rate
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 of
polupation
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population
 aged 65 and over in the USA will
increase
Use synonyms
 sharply
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 17% to above 20% from 2023 to 2040.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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