Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, advertising is the best-selling or buying tool which allows
people
to shop more if they need
products
or not.
Although
, many
people
think that advertising distracts ordinary
people
from buying unwanted
products
, others may support that it is the best way to know about the latest
products
which may be helpful for day-to-day life. I supported the advertisement that provides the latest features of
products
and
this
essay will give appropriate reasons with examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with social media through advertising, is an easy way to get to know about the product if you want to buy in the future.
This
means that you can pre-plan to manage a financial situation to purchase an iPhone or laptop for business purposes.
For instance
, many travellers who travel solo trips with the help of advertising before pre-planning purchase useful
products
which would be helpful to have on the solo trip
such
as camping kits, lights, and so on.
Thus
, it is crystal clear that advertising can benefit individuals to shop right
products
to improve their lives.
Moreover
, offline advertising was
also
quite popular in many areas where technology had not arrived
such
as big posters of brands'
products
which are coming soon. Because of
this
advertisement, poor
people
go to the shopping centre to see if
such
types of
products
are worth it or not so that they can have more information to compare the
products
with other brands to purchase less expense.
Hence
, paper-based advertising
also
more attention individuals about new arrival
products
. In conclusion, types of advertising could be better guides to consumers who shop rarely or usually. I would
also
consider my support to advertisement companies that update individuals to get more ideas about all
product's
Change noun form
product
show examples
features
availability
Replace the word
available
show examples
in the country.
Submitted by patelhardik2199 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the topic and offers a position, but the development of ideas lacks depth. Ideas are not fully expanded upon, and the essay could benefit from a wider range of sentence structures and connectors.
task achievement
While the essay touches on both sides of the argument, it would benefit from a clearer and more detailed thesis statement. More elaboration and specific examples are needed to strengthen the main points.

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