The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #temperatures #three #australian #cities #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart illustrates the mean values of

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

temperatures ever recorded for three different Australian cities with respect to

Use synonyms

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2016.

Overall

Linking Words

, the trends for

Melbourne

Use synonyms

and

Perth

Use synonyms

towns are similar. They tended to decrease during the first half of the

year

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

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and

then

Linking Words

grew for the next 6 months which happened around August until December 2016.

However

Linking Words

, the pattern for Darwin

city

Capitalize word

City

show examples

is a little bit different. The trend for it was quite stagnant

accross

Correct your spelling

across

the

year

Use synonyms

. For more

detail

Replace the word

detailed

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information, the maximum

temperature

Fix the agreement mistake

temperatures

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for both

Melbourne

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and

Perth

Use synonyms

cities in 2016 were not significantly different to each other based on the data. The former highest temperature was around 26

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

celcius

Correct your spelling

celsius

while

Linking Words

the latter one was approximately 27.5

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

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celcius

Correct your spelling

celsius

. One of the most interesting

feature

Change to a plural noun

features

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from the bar chart is that both of the maximum temperatures for two

Melbourne

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and

Perth

Use synonyms

cities were happening in the same month which was in January 2016.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, the lowest

temperature

Fix the agreement mistake

temperatures

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for

Melbourne

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and

Perth

Use synonyms

towns were

also

Linking Words

happening

Change preposition

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the same month in 2016 which accounts

Change preposition

for around

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around

Change preposition

for around

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14 and 18

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

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degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

celcius

Correct your spelling

celsius

respectively.

The similar

Correct article usage

Similar

show examples

numbers were

also

Linking Words

found in nearby months,

such

Linking Words

as May, July, and August.

However

Linking Words

, these cold temperatures only remained for several months because they would start to rise again

Change the preposition

show examples

the end of the

year

Use synonyms

, the clearest ones were

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show examples

October, November, and December.

Submitted by ravialdyhidayat on Thu Dec 21 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words year, melbourne, perth with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with other types of help rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic: Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

1. International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

besity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?