IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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In general, there are some individuals who are into choosing their residence quite close to the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 where they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated from
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many years of their lives. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the most remarkable justifications
as well as
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 pros and cons will be explained in great detail. First and foremost radice of
this
Linking Words
 issue could be that living in
such
Linking Words
 areas would recall good memories of their childhood. I mean
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that not only did they have
pleasant
Correct article usage
a pleasant
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 period there as a child but
also
Linking Words
 being familiar with the
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 turns
this
Linking Words
 region
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a kind of comfort zone and staying there brings confidence and peace of mind for them. To give an example, there are numerous ones all around the world who live most of their lives near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their original residential area joyfully and cannot abandon there up to the end of their living.
Thus
Linking Words
, being familiar and convenient
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 a person not desert his or her childhood area for the rest of life. Surely, it has a number of merits and demerits. Perhaps, the most obvious benefit can be that they do not need to allocate
sizeable
Add an article
a sizeable
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 amount of time
finding
Change the verb form
to find
show examples
 a suitable residence for themselves.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are aware of all ups and downs of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 is really beneficial. On the flip side, they would not know that much about other districts in their hometown. To explain more, they may not be able to meet their needs in other areas since they are not informed about the addresses well and it may cause stress and anxiety if they tend to leave there for a
while
Linking Words
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that despite having a wide range of privileges
such
Linking Words
 as being convenient and
also
Linking Words
 familiar with facilities or
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
, there are some drawbacks like having some mental disorders
such
Linking Words
 as stress when they have to settle down in other districts for a period of time.
However
Linking Words
, living in
such
Linking Words
 areas brings back good memories of one's childhood and
this
Linking Words
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
major explanation for spending considerable time living there.

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Task Achievement
You should ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis. While the essay introduces the topic, it lacks a strong thesis statement outlining the upcoming discussion. For coherence and cohesion, structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each with a central idea and clear supporting sentences. Some main points have been supported, but at times, they need to be more developed and supported with specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, using a range of linking words can help in maintaining the flow of ideas. Moreover, opening and concluding paragraphs must clearly set up and summarise your arguments, ensuring all paragraphs are logically connected and progress smoothly. The logical sequencing of ideas is evident in your essay, but transitions between points could be smoother. Pay attention to paragraphing; each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and follow through with coherent support.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
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