Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society. Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend? how does competitiveness affect individuals?
Competitiveness is an act where some people in a community try to be better than others.
This
trend Linking Words
are
most notable Change the verb form
is
especially
in the early days of our life. Youngsters are usually the ones being exposed to the most competitiveness compared to adults. Still, the idea of being better than somebody else is prevalent no matter where or when we see it. AsAdd the comma(s)
, especially
a
lot of trends, Change preposition
with a
this
habit has its upsides and downsides in terms of how it Linking Words
affect
a person.
On one hand, the mindset of always wanting to strive for the highest and be the best is definitely a good Change the verb form
affects
way
of thinkingUse synonyms
to have
. Verb problem
apply
This
is true in every part of our journey through life itself. We most Linking Words
cetainly
want to be the best in our class so that our parents and teachers are proud of us. We want to get the best score so that we Correct your spelling
certainly
could
secure our education at the best institution possible. We want to be the best Wrong verb form
can
at
the market so that we can get the most profit. Change preposition
in
This
Linking Words
way
of viewing others Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
stimulate
Correct subject-verb agreement
stimulates
ourself
to become the best of Correct pronoun usage
us
itself
in order to get as close as possible to perfection, which could promote a growth and healthy mindset as we strive for excellence.
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
On the other hand
, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
way
of thinking could backfire if one cannot handle the immense pressure. By constantly looking at others, we always compare Use synonyms
ourself
with them and Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
thus
feel anxious, and if we fail to meet our Linking Words
expectation
, it could propel us Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
backward
Change the spelling
backwards
instead
of push us forward by learning from the failure. Linking Words
Also
, the constant pressure to always be better than everyone could end up putting Linking Words
unnecessary
burden Correct article usage
an unnecessary
to
someone and make them experience Change preposition
on
harmfull
stress.
Correct your spelling
harmful
In
the end of the day, the idea of competitiveness and its practice in Change the preposition
At
the
society is excellent as it promotes Correct article usage
apply
growing
mindset and Correct article usage
a growing
way
of thinking yet could backfire. It is something Use synonyms
that is
very beneficial to how one Linking Words
view
Change the verb form
views
itself
and its Correct pronoun usage
oneself
surrounding
yet very dangerous for their mind and tiring for their body if they cannot handle the pressure given.Replace the word
surroundings
Submitted by fadiljayaputra on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea which is clearly presented and developed. The second paragraph contains multiple ideas, making it less cohesive. It's important to elaborate on key points and provide specific examples or explanations to enhance clarity and understanding.
task achievement
The response requires a clearer introduction and conclusion that specifically address the prompt by expressing a clear stance on whether competitiveness is a positive development or a negative trend. Clarification on the impact of competitiveness on individuals needs to be elaborated upon to fully address the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.