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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #temperatures #three #australian #cities #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The assigned bar chart
elucidate
Change the verb form
elucidates
show examples
 the monthly
temperature
Use synonyms
 of minimum and maximum by Australian
cities
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2016. These three
cities
Use synonyms
 are
Melbourne
Use synonyms
,
Darwin
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
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. It is evident from
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 chart that the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 was seen in
Darwin
Use synonyms
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of November
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 33.3%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
at the beginning of Jan to April it was slightly
upsurge
Wrong verb form
upsurged
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree Celsius of 32.7% and from May it's remain
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
down the mid of
year
Use synonyms
 the months of June and July it were constant approximately 30.6 to 30.5%.
afterthat
Correct your spelling
after that
, rapid growth in
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 graph from August to December. Probing ahead,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
Use synonyms
 were
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern
follow
Change the form of the verb
followed
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2016.
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 had no
changed
Change the form of the verb
change
show examples
 in Frist two months
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Jan and Feb
whereas
Linking Words
 March to July gradually decreased at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 of 13.4%.
Noticably
Correct your spelling
Noticeably
 in the
month
Use synonyms
 of June, July and
August
Add a comma
August,
show examples
 all three
cities
Use synonyms
 were
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
Darwin
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was (about 30.6, 30.5 to 31.3% and 19.2, 18.8 to 19% respectively). Eventually, in the initial
months
Add a comma
months,
show examples
 both two provinces
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend saw till the
month
Use synonyms
 of July after it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually increased in December
month
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, In
Use synonyms
Melbourne
Add a comma
Melbourne,
show examples
 erratic pattern was
saw
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 and
Add an article
the most
show examples
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 was in the
month
Use synonyms
 of November as compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
cities
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
Darwin
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern
followed it
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 was downward and upward trend in the
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by prit699731 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, cities, year, melbourne, darwin, perth, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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