There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, young
people
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are receiving more
pressured
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pressure
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to become successful in
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
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aspect. Some say, in order to succeed academically these young
people
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need to give up on other
subjects
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so they can focus on academic
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
. I personally do not agree with that idea and through
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will explain my view.
Firstly
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, giving up on other
subjects
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for certain
subjects
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is going to make young
people
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stressful
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stressed
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. Other
subjects
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such
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as physical education and cookery sometimes are recognized as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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recreational
class
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classes
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.
While
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scientific
subjects
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as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
physics and mathematics require full concentration, those
subjects
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can bring
more
Correct article usage
a more
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dynamic environment for students.
In addition
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, recreational
subjects
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do not require a lot of time and
usually
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usually,
show examples
they are scheduled only once a week.
Secondly
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, removing informal
subjects
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will affect the
teachers
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' livelihood. If some related
subjects
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are going to be removed
then
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those
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teachers'
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teachers
show examples
might lose their jobs.
This
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might bring another problem for the school because some of them are specialized in certain
subjects
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, so they cannot be rotated to other functions easily.
Moreover
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, it is important to save the
teachers
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' jobs rather than concentrating on
few
Correct article usage
a few
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subjects
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.
To conclude
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, it might be true that succeeding academically is very important in the environment of modern education, as some young
people
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are being forced to
it
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do it
show examples
.
However
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, removing some other
subjects
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in order to
succeeding
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succeed
show examples
academically is not a wise option because these young
people
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still need recreational
subjects
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and those
teachers
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must continue their jobs.
Moreover
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,
its
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it's
it is
show examples
better to keep the other
subjects
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as a way of recreation.
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task by presenting a complete response to the question asked, showing a full understanding. Develop your main ideas with a clear aim and provide relevant examples to illustrate points when necessary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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