In many countries, people now wear Western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Following the latest trends is to individual's souls what food
comsuption
is to their body. Correct your spelling
consumption
Due to
globalization
most Add a comma
globalization,
people
prefer to select their clothes base
on the trends Wrong verb form
based
instead
of their nation's custome
in Correct your spelling
customs
customer
recenet
times. Correct your spelling
recent
Although
,
the merits of Remove the comma
apply
this
matter far outweigh the merits,this
matter should be considered on a broader canvas.
In our
today's globalized world following the Correct pronoun usage
apply
most fresh
dress codes Change the adjective
freshest
such
as,
jeans,suits,and boots Remove the comma
apply
are
much easier for individuals. It Correct subject-verb agreement
is
also
has been seen that some people
,especially the
youngsters, have no idea about their traditional outfits and they do not even care about it. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, this
Change the determiner
these
western-style
wearings are more comfortable and Change the capitalization
Western-style
people
usually find them more stylish in contrast
to conventional ones. A shining example is Texas, where men used to wear leather pants and jackets with unique boots which is
not easy at all to wear and these days Change the verb form
are
this
type of clothing has paled.
At first sight,this
matter resembles
to be a mixed blessing but by examining Verb problem
seems
through
it, it is a positive progress. Despite the fact that it is hard to see values are changing, Change preposition
apply
this
is an inevitable alteration. On the other hand
,some may belive
that these alterations would provoke consumerism in Correct your spelling
believe
the
society and make Correct article usage
apply
people
more materialistic but, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are the materialistic ones who enjoy from
consumerism.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
culturally
and socially problematic as Change preposition
as culturally
forsake
of traditional clothing might be, it is indeed individually and practically beneficial. If following the latest trends is,as Correct article usage
the forsake
result
, like consuming food Correct article usage
a result
then
it should be followed and obeyed.Submitted by alifarzaneh on
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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, but the thesis is not clearly defined and the conclusion does not effectively restate the main argument or summarize the key points discussed throughout the essay. It is essential that the introduction includes a concise thesis statement that clearly outlines the position that will be taken, and the conclusion should effectively synthesize the content of the body paragraphs.
Logical Structure
There are several logical jumps and the essay lacks clear progression of ideas. Paragraphing could be improved to aid in the logical structure of the content. Use transitional phrases and ensure that each paragraph presents a single cohesive idea.
Supported Main Points
Provide clear topic sentences for each body paragraph and expand on the main points with adequate supporting details. The essay should consistently address the prompts provided in the question, ensuring that all aspects are adequately covered and developed with specific examples or explanations.
Complete Response
The response addresses the task only partially, providing a general perspective on the issue of adopting Western-style clothing. There is also a noticeable lack of specificity and development in the ideas presented. The essay should better engage with both dimensions of the question: the reasons why this trend is happening, and a more thorough analysis of whether the development is positive or negative, providing clear arguments and examples.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
The ideas conveyed in the essay are somewhat clear but lack comprehensive development and explanation. Spend more time elaborating on each idea presented. Ensure that each point is not only stated but supported with examples or further details.
Relevant Specific Examples
The essay occasionally references examples but lacks specific, relevant examples to illustrate points. Include more concrete examples from real-life situations or credible sources to enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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