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Band 4

Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages

#information #technology #people #chores #workplace #e #g #home
There is no denying the fact that IT makes people’s
lifes
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lives
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 more flexible and much
esiear
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easier
.
While
 it is commonly held belief that it helps them to do their
work
 tasks from home or wherever they are, there is
also
 an argument
oposes
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opposing
 it. In my opinion, I consider that the advantage of online
work
 is more than the disadvantage.
To begin
with
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with,
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 family
time
 is precious. So, working from home will make the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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spend more
time
 with their families and it will
strenthen
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strengthen
 the
realashonships
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relationships
 between the parents.
For instance
, some reference studies
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
show how remote
work
 has enabled individuals to spend more quality
time
 with their families.
In addition
, it will help them
to
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apply
show examples
to be more organized and productive because of the huge free
time
 that they have. Another point to consider, informatics technology
do
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does
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 not let the world stop during any emergency situations.
Espicially
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Especially
,
economical
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in economical
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 and educational
feild
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fields
.
For example
, the global response to the COVID-19 pandemic,
emphasizing
Wrong verb form
emphasises
show examples
 how IT played a crucial role in maintaining continuity, especially in education and business.
In
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On
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educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 side, all
the
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apply
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students over the world started to study online with their school’s
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and they did not
puse
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pursue
 the educational process. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I
belive
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believe
show examples
 that the transformative power of Information Technology (IT) is undeniable.
While
 debates persist regarding its impact, the advantages of online
work
, increased family
time
, and resilience during emergencies are compelling.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next; use cohesive devices appropriately to enhance the clarity and progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, work on making them more impactful by refining the thesis statement and summarizing the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples; make sure the examples directly illustrate the argument you're making and are integrated smoothly into the text.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt with a complete response, but to score higher, ensure every aspect of the question is thoroughly covered with more developed ideas.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas by explaining them more comprehensively. This can be accomplished by devoting more space to each point and exploring the implications or counterarguments.
task achievement
Use specific, detailed examples to back up your statements. The examples should be clearly connected to the point they are supporting and should be elaborated upon to show a deeper level of analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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