IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

#countires #house #people
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Nowadays, in our world, owning a
house
Use synonyms
 is popular rather than renting a
house
Use synonyms
 for humans. Why might
this
Linking Words
 be the case? Because there are two main situations. There are ways to save
time
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 and
money
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.
People
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 want to
easy
Add a missing verb
be easy
show examples
 in everything, and renting a
house
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 is
included
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one thing in that. I think that's going to lead to a positive situation. There are some
people
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needed
Wrong verb form
who need
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 to move to a better job
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 and they
thinking
Change the form of the verb
think
show examples
 when they get the jobs about how would
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go there, They always make a plan to get their work
on
Add a missing verb
done on
show examples
time
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. In
this
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 case, especially, the transportation sector is important and they always search for houses near the
transport
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 station. Mostly, buying a
house
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 near the
transport
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 station
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is expensive and they can'
t
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 afford to buy. So, the
people
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 would like to
rent
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 a
house
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 near
transport
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Bangkok city, located in Thailand, was crowded and traffic-ridden, but it had good transportation. Some
people
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would like to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
rent
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 a
house
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 near
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transport
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 and they can get to move easily
one
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from one
show examples
 place to another when they
didn'
Wrong verb form
don't
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t
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 like the
house
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. It's advantageous to
rent
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 a
house
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.
Cost
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 saving is important for our lives nowadays. We spent living costs
such
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 as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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,
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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,
transport
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,
rent
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 or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 houses. The
people
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 who live in
Arban
Correct article usage
the Arban
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 area,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cost
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 a lot and want to spend their
money
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their beauty and health. Some
people
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 want to go abroad when they get better opportunities in their work or education. So, selling the
house
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 is not easy to make some
money
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. Most of them are saving their
money
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 to the banks. They get bank interest. If you buy a
house
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 in an urban area, you will
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cost
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 a lot of tax and maintenance fees and more over you will
cost
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 for
house
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 insurance.
For example
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, I didn'
t
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 really want to move our
house
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 when I
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in Bangkok. But the building was old and the
house
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 had many scratches on the walls. I wouldn'
t
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 spend
anymore
Replace the word
any more
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
house
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 because I have to pay my education fee. So, I sold the
house
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 and moved to a new rental
house
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. I think
that is
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ficial
Correct your spelling
a
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
 not only in Bangkok but
also
Linking Words
 in some countries. Renting a
house
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 is easier than buying a
house
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 in our lives
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
variable issues.
Time
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 and
cost
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 saving are very important in our lives, so that's why we make the right decisions,
such
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 as renting a
house
Use synonyms
 or buying a
house
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is leading to better lifestyles.
Submitted by mjifinanceassistant on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Consider organizing your thoughts into clear, logical paragraphs that flow naturally from one to the next, each with a main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do not clearly define the scope of your essay or summarize the main points. A strong introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should reiterate your key points and provide closure, giving a clear answer to the question.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points appear unsupported or lacking in depth. Strive to back up each of your main points with substantial explanations, evidence, or examples relevant to the question at hand. This would provide more weight to your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Your response to the task only partially meets the requirements. Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt fully, which includes discussing reasons behind the preference for owning over renting a house. Expand and clarify your ideas for a complete response.
task achievement
Some ideas in your essay are not clearly expressed, making them difficult to understand. Use effective paragraphing and sentence structures to communicate your thoughts clearly and coherently. Precise vocabulary and grammar also contribute to the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas.
task achievement
While you did provide an example involving Bangkok, the overall essay could benefit from more specific instances that directly relate to the prompt. Use detailed, relevant examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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