In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

#countires #house #people

Nowadays, in our world, owning a

house

is popular rather than renting a

house

for humans. Why might

this

be the case? Because there are two main situations. There are ways to save

time

and

money

People

want to

easy

Add a missing verb

be easy

show examples

in everything, and renting a

house

included

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one thing in that. I think that's going to lead to a positive situation. There are some

people

needed

Wrong verb form

who need

show examples

to move to a better job

everytime

Replace the word

every time

show examples

and they

thinking

Change the form of the verb

think

show examples

when they get the jobs about how would

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

go there, They always make a plan to get their work

Add a missing verb

done on

show examples

time

. In

this

case, especially, the transportation sector is important and they always search for houses near the

transport

station. Mostly, buying a

house

near the

transport

station

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is expensive and they can'

afford to buy. So, the

people

would like to

rent

house

near

transport

For example

, Bangkok city, located in Thailand, was crowded and traffic-ridden, but it had good transportation. Some

people

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would like to save

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

rent

house

near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

transport

and they can get to move easily

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

place to another when they

didn'

Wrong verb form

don't

show examples

like the

house

. It's advantageous to

rent

house

Cost

saving is important for our lives nowadays. We spent living costs

such

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

transport

rent

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

houses. The

people

who live in

Arban

Correct article usage

the Arban

show examples

area,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

cost

a lot and want to spend their

money

Change preposition

show examples

their beauty and health. Some

people

want to go abroad when they get better opportunities in their work or education. So, selling the

house

is not easy to make some

money

. Most of them are saving their

money

to the banks. They get bank interest. If you buy a

house

in an urban area, you will

cost

Verb problem

pay

show examples

a lot of tax and maintenance fees and more over you will

cost

for

house

insurance.

For example

, I didn'

really want to move our

house

when I

live

Wrong verb form

lived

show examples

in Bangkok. But the building was old and the

house

had many scratches on the walls. I wouldn'

spend

anymore

Replace the word

any more

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

house

because I have to pay my education fee. So, I sold the

house

and moved to a new rental

house

. I think

that is

ficial

Correct your spelling

factors

Fix the agreement mistake

factor

show examples

not only in Bangkok but

also

in some countries. Renting a

house

is easier than buying a

house

in our lives

Change preposition

apply

show examples

variable issues.

Time

and

cost

saving are very important in our lives, so that's why we make the right decisions,

such

as renting a

house

or buying a

house

This

is leading to better lifestyles.

Submitted by mjifinanceassistant on Thu Dec 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Consider organizing your thoughts into clear, logical paragraphs that flow naturally from one to the next, each with a main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion do not clearly define the scope of your essay or summarize the main points. A strong introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should reiterate your key points and provide closure, giving a clear answer to the question.

coherence cohesion

Some of your main points appear unsupported or lacking in depth. Strive to back up each of your main points with substantial explanations, evidence, or examples relevant to the question at hand. This would provide more weight to your argument and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Your response to the task only partially meets the requirements. Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt fully, which includes discussing reasons behind the preference for owning over renting a house. Expand and clarify your ideas for a complete response.

task achievement

Some ideas in your essay are not clearly expressed, making them difficult to understand. Use effective paragraphing and sentence structures to communicate your thoughts clearly and coherently. Precise vocabulary and grammar also contribute to the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas.

task achievement

While you did provide an example involving Bangkok, the overall essay could benefit from more specific instances that directly relate to the prompt. Use detailed, relevant examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

436 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.
Nowadays, it is the paramount responsibility of children to be taught perfectly to preserve their future. Hence, numerous people certainly argue that the young generation supposedly facilitated learning at home rather than in educational institutions. This essay is ultimately going to elaborate on both aforementioned issues and provide my view on them.
5
band
Many people think that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while others argue that aid money is misspent by the governments that receive it and therefore international aid should not be given to poor countries. Discuss these two points of view and give your opinion.
In this modern era, helping tendency is reduced around the world. A large number of people think that nations should have a moral policy to help each other while others opine that assists are misused by the local officials and governments besides help for needed residents, so International aid should not be provided to the developing nations. This essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
7
band
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Nowadays, there are various genres of music and its importance for the human race has been widely acknowledged. This essay will elucidate the underlying reasons why the existence of music is essential in our lives. Additionally, it will discuss whether a country's traditional music holds a more important position than international music and why I disagree with the statement.
5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is argued that individuals should take risks in either their professional or personal lives. This essay would argue that although people may fail when taking risks, they are able to learn from their failures, this means, that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the drawbacks.
7.5
band
Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?
Some would argue that it is unfair to set a common age of retirement for every worker of any occupation. They say that people who follow certain careers should be allowed to retire and given pensions sooner than others. I strongly agree with this idea as some jobs damage individuals’ health at early ages, and retirement before 65 is beneficial to those who work in harsh conditions.

In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Many people think that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while others argue that aid money is misspent by the governments that receive it and therefore international aid should not be given to poor countries. Discuss these two points of view and give your opinion.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.