In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

Nowadays, in our world, owning a
house
is popular rather than renting a
house
for humans. Why might
this
be the case? Because there are two main situations. There are ways to save
time
and
money
.
People
want to
easy
Add a missing verb
be easy
show examples
in everything, and renting a
house
is
included
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one thing in that. I think that's going to lead to a positive situation. There are some
people
needed
Wrong verb form
who need
show examples
to move to a better job
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
and they
thinking
Change the form of the verb
think
show examples
when they get the jobs about how would
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go there, They always make a plan to get their work
on
Add a missing verb
done on
show examples
time
. In
this
case, especially, the transportation sector is important and they always search for houses near the
transport
station. Mostly, buying a
house
near the
transport
station
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is expensive and they can'
t
afford to buy. So, the
people
would like to
rent
a
house
near
transport
.
For example
, Bangkok city, located in Thailand, was crowded and traffic-ridden, but it had good transportation. Some
people
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would like to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
rent
a
house
near
in
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apply
show examples
transport
and they can get to move easily
one
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from one
show examples
place to another when they
didn'
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
t
like the
house
. It's advantageous to
rent
a
house
.
Cost
saving is important for our lives nowadays. We spent living costs
such
as
for
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apply
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
,
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
,
transport
,
rent
or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
houses. The
people
who live in
Arban
Correct article usage
the Arban
show examples
area,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cost
a lot and want to spend their
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their beauty and health. Some
people
want to go abroad when they get better opportunities in their work or education. So, selling the
house
is not easy to make some
money
. Most of them are saving their
money
to the banks. They get bank interest. If you buy a
house
in an urban area, you will
cost
Verb problem
pay
show examples
a lot of tax and maintenance fees and more over you will
cost
for
house
insurance.
For example
, I didn'
t
really want to move our
house
when I
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in Bangkok. But the building was old and the
house
had many scratches on the walls. I wouldn'
t
spend
anymore
Replace the word
any more
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
house
because I have to pay my education fee. So, I sold the
house
and moved to a new rental
house
. I think
that is
ficial
Correct your spelling
a
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
not only in Bangkok but
also
in some countries. Renting a
house
is easier than buying a
house
in our lives
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
variable issues.
Time
and
cost
saving are very important in our lives, so that's why we make the right decisions,
such
as renting a
house
or buying a
house
.
This
is leading to better lifestyles.
Submitted by mjifinanceassistant on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Consider organizing your thoughts into clear, logical paragraphs that flow naturally from one to the next, each with a main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do not clearly define the scope of your essay or summarize the main points. A strong introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should reiterate your key points and provide closure, giving a clear answer to the question.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points appear unsupported or lacking in depth. Strive to back up each of your main points with substantial explanations, evidence, or examples relevant to the question at hand. This would provide more weight to your argument and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Your response to the task only partially meets the requirements. Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt fully, which includes discussing reasons behind the preference for owning over renting a house. Expand and clarify your ideas for a complete response.
task achievement
Some ideas in your essay are not clearly expressed, making them difficult to understand. Use effective paragraphing and sentence structures to communicate your thoughts clearly and coherently. Precise vocabulary and grammar also contribute to the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas.
task achievement
While you did provide an example involving Bangkok, the overall essay could benefit from more specific instances that directly relate to the prompt. Use detailed, relevant examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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