Some people think employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but the quality at work. To what extent you agree or disagree?
Ensuring a high standard of work is occurring within the
work place
should be more important than governing Correct your spelling
workplace
Use synonyms
employees
dress codes. In Change noun form
employees'
employee's
this
essay, I will discuss why I agree with Linking Words
this
notion and form a conclusion.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the realm of working is vastly different from educational facilities that place a significant emphasis on dress Linking Words
code
. People within Fix the agreement mistake
codes
a
occupation should maintain a professional standard of attire, but should not be dictated or chastised on their choice of clothing. Change the article
an
This
is becauseLinking Words
,
the Remove the comma
apply
employers
main focus should be centred around progression and an adequate quality of production coming from their Change to a genitive case
employer's
employers'
employees
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, there is no direct correlation between professional attire and the material Linking Words
that is
generated within the environment. As long as a company is functioning on a sufficient basis Linking Words
then
Linking Words
this
should be the only concern of the head of the department. Linking Words
Secondly
, everyone within Linking Words
a
industry is on Change the article
an
a
even playing field and are all responsible, mature adults. No one should be belittled or made to feel inadequate in their choice of dress, as every single person within that office is working to the same efficiency and are all equally as committed.
Change the article
an
On the other hand
, a scale of uniform or unspoken level of dressing is a distinguishing factor when performing in a career. Linking Words
Employees
are a direct representative of the employers Use synonyms
as well as
of their company. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is paramount that every person looks and plays the part of the industry they are a part of, so Linking Words
not
to bring shame or embarrassment onto the team. Correct word choice
as not
Additionally
, cohesive fashion brings a sense of community, companionship and teamwork . Everyone feels united and understands that they are a part of something bigger.
In conclusion, it is advisable that the focus of a job should be on the work generated rather than on the choice of the Linking Words
Use synonyms
employees
fashion.Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
Submitted by abeera2012 on
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task response
The essay provides a clear position and attempts to present supporting arguments. However, some ideas could be expanded further with more specific examples and explanation. To enhance performance on task response, ensure that each main point is accompanied by appropriate and relevant examples that illustrate the argument effectively. Make sure to always keep the reader informed as to why the point you're making is relevant to the question posed and ensure every part of the task prompt is directly addressed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decent logical structure: it includes an introduction and a conclusion along with body paragraphs that each present a distinct main point. However, the connection between ideas can be improved. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure your essay flows better. Also, make sure each paragraph discusses a clear central idea and that all sentences within it relate directly to this central idea for higher coherence. Maintain paragraph unity by starting with a topic sentence that signals what the paragraph will be about and then provide support that directly relates back to this topic sentence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example