IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without that technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some say
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 technological developments have
altered
Verb problem
made
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 our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 more complicated and the viable answer to
this
Linking Words
 problem is to quit using technology for more
simple
Correct word choice
simpler
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life
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. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because technological
convenients
Correct your spelling
conveniences
convenient
convenience
such
Linking Words
 as online
Use synonyms
calenders
Correct your spelling
calendars
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 and social
media
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platforms
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 are making our
life
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 much
more
Change the word
apply
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easier than ever.  Online
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calenders
Correct your spelling
calendars
show examples
 in technological gadgets are effective tools to organise individuals' working and personal
lives
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.
People
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 can schedule their
meetings
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,
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 and personal appointments, including important details,
location
Correct article usage
the location
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 of the
meetings
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 and estimated durations.
For example
Linking Words
, in the UK most
whitecollars
Correct your spelling
white-collars
white collars
 use online
Use synonyms
calenders
Correct your spelling
calendars
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such
Linking Words
 as Notion or Google
Calender
Correct your spelling
Calendar
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 to remind
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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important
Change preposition
of important
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meetings
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 related
with
Change preposition
to
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 their jobs,
furthermore
Linking Words
, they will be able to prepare or reschedule these
meetings
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 during their busy
lives
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, these applications can help to tackle important tasks and
meetings
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. Social
media
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 is another
convenient
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convenience
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 that positively affects
people
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's
lives
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. Through social
media
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platforms
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, men and women can keep in touch with their friends and families. Without
technology
Add a comma
technology,
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 they have to pay attention to communicate more often in real
life
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 with their friends but they can easily communicate with their connections on social
media
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 without spending much time. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, Instagram and Facebook are suitable
platforms
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 to communicate with friends and family members. In the UK a lot of
people
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 use these
platforms
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 in order to progress their relationship with others. Not only can they continue their friendship but they can
also
Linking Words
 save time through these applications. In conclusion, I believe that technological changes have made individuals'
lives
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 much
easy
Replace the word
easier
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 than ever because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
Use synonyms
calenders
Correct your spelling
calendars
show examples
 and social
media
Use synonyms
platforms
Use synonyms
.
People
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 can save time and schedule their important
meetings
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by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the help of technology.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure by organizing it into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Furthermore, make it a point to review your work for potential grammatical and spelling errors that may disrupt the flow of information.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Your essay should present a clear position throughout the response, and you should expand your ideas with evidence and examples. It's also important to ensure that the ideas are elaborated sufficiently and are not just listed without much explanation or elaboration. Aim for a balanced argument if the question requires discussing multiple viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Information overload
  • Social media
  • Decision fatigue
  • Paradox of choice
  • Efficiency
  • Healthcare advancements
  • Quality of life
  • Global connectivity
  • Digital divide
  • Selective usage
  • Unnecessary complexity
  • Simpler lifestyle
  • Integrate
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