The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days,

children

Use synonyms

suffer the obesity

Use synonyms

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

across the globe, especially

Change preposition

in western

show examples

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

nations.

As a result

Linking Words

westernised

Correct article usage

the westernised

show examples

toddlers

Change the noun form

toddler

show examples

obesity

issue

Use synonyms

ratio has increased by almost twenty

percentage

Replace the word

per cent

show examples

in the

last

Linking Words

decade. Overconsumption of

junk

Use synonyms

foods

Use synonyms

and beverages are the main reasons and it can bring more health issues and bullying from others.

However

Linking Words

, there are some feasible solutions to reduce

this

Linking Words

adverse trend.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in Western

nation's

Change noun form

nation

show examples

children

Use synonyms

eat more and more

junk

Use synonyms

foods

Use synonyms

and beverages frequently like regular

meals

Use synonyms

, consequence, they affect a plethora of health issues because they eat unhealthy

meals

Use synonyms

and

this

Linking Words

junk

Use synonyms

food's ingredients

are added

Wrong verb form

add

show examples

some chemicals to bring more taste.

For example

Linking Words

, pizza and

hamburger's

Change noun form

hamburger

show examples

ingredients have more chemicals,

even

Correct word choice

and even

show examples

though, kids like to eat these

meanwhile

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they suffer

obesity

Change preposition

from obesity

show examples

issue

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

fat.

In addition

Linking Words

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

suffers bullying from others who are fit and lean,

thus

Linking Words

, some kids might kill themselves.

Although

Linking Words

, there are some feasible measurements

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

reduce

this

Linking Words

adverse phenomenon. One of the major remedies is that parents should cook healthy

meals

Use synonyms

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home in Western countries, and

as a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can eat

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

dish

Fix the agreement mistake

dishes on

show examples

regular

Correct article usage

a regular

show examples

basis.and they

far

Add a missing verb

are far

show examples

way

Correct your spelling

away

show examples

from the overweight

issue

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, parents prepare salad and bread toast for their loved ones

while

Linking Words

kids

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

eat

junk

Use synonyms

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

. Another remedy is that the authority should foster to

children

Use synonyms

do some physical exercise by creating awareness in order to overweight

issue

Use synonyms

might be reduced.

To conclude

Linking Words

, overconsumption of

junk

Use synonyms

foods

Use synonyms

and beverages

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the main cause of child overweight in Western nations and it brings bullying from others who fit and lean

as well as

Linking Words

health issues are the effects.

However

Linking Words

, some feasible solutions can diminish

this

Linking Words

phenomenon

such

Linking Words

as the authorities

should create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

awareness about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical exercise and parents

cook

Wrong verb form

cooking

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home to

practice

Verb problem

encourage

show examples

their child eat healthy

meals

Use synonyms

reanudeepanFri Dec 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure of the essay, ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea further. Transition signals between ideas and paragraphs can also enhance the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and a conclusion are indeed present. To further improve, ensure that they are more tightly related, where the introduction sets the stage for the discussion and the conclusion neatly wraps up the essay's main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported, but you should strive to develop them further with more detailed explanations, in-depth analysis, and a wider range of examples to strengthen the arguments presented within the essay.

task achievement

The response covers the task, providing causes, effects, and solutions, but some parts are reiterative. Increase the depth of the discussion and ensure all parts answer the question fully. Avoid repetition to maintain the examiner's interest.

task achievement

The ideas are relevant but could be expressed more clearly and developed more comprehensively. Work on varying your sentence structures and check for grammatical accuracy to ensure clarity. Refine your idea development with additional substantial arguments and pertinent illustrations.

task achievement

Examples used to illustrate points should be specific, relevant, and convincingly support the point being made. Aim to include a mix of personal, hypothetical, and real-world examples to effectively demonstrate the understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consumption
processed snacks
sedentary lifestyle
digital entertainment
balanced diet
junk food
diabetes
high blood pressure
heart diseases
low self-esteem
nutritious meal options
combat
educational programs
obesity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information.
I completely disagree that the media is a trustworthy source of information.
6
band
The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
The allocation of budget to restoring old buildings in big cities in the world results in the use of a huge amount of money. However, using the money to build new housing and develop a road system would be more valuable. I totally agree with the statement owing to the positive impacts that individuals could get.
6
band
Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.
In today's swiftly developing society, whilst a number of individuals anticipate that gigantic corporations are obliged to basing more in regional places, in the sense of evolving economics there also and , others strongly believe that there is no need to do it owing to the necessity to confess a status of city. I firmly give credence to the point of relocating colossal companies to cities with inferior importance for rapid development purposes.
7.5
band
Task2) Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In modern society, focusing on a specific subject and accomplishing a bright achievement are treated as virtues. However, there is a more persuasive argument that some college students want to explore different subjects besides their majors. I firmly believe that having more chances to study various subjects is beneficial to an individual’s success because it can help pupils develop their holistic skills for life and foster their creativity.
7.5
band
Topic-Task 1; Topic;A friend who lives in another country has invited you to come and stay with him/her on your next holiday. You are too busy to accept the invitation. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, 1)Thank him/her for the invitation. 2)Explain why you cannot come. 3) Ask him/her about other times to visit.
I hope you’re doing well. I’m writing to thank you for your kind invitation . However, I am afraid my current schedule won’t allow me to visit your place.

The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The news media is a reliable source of unbiased information.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities throughout the world involves enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies in the industry to move to regional areas outside large urban cities. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantageous.