Option A: Fitness Area: The gym would have all major gym equipment and will be open for 24 hours. Option B: Swimming Pool: The swimming pool will be open for 12 hours only and will feature a hot tub as well as a jacuzzi.

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I was recently made aware of the survey on the
company
conducting uses for their extra space.
While
some
people
claim that a Fitness area like a
gym
would be a good option others think a swimming pool is more suitable, considering multifare reasons, which I will elucidate and justify in the following paragraphs. No doubt that the Fitness area for the
gym
would be the best choice for multiple reasons. I will highly recommend
this
because after too much work or a stressful life. Employees need some refreshments and Exercises to reduce their stress and improve their immunity power. The
company
uses
this
extra space for the
gym
then
after shift
people
and so some exercises or yoga that will be helpful for health.
Additionally
, to support my opinion, I would like to mention that, Will set every day time table that day will provide Zomba, yoga, and sports achieved in the
gym
like bad entails, these will be refreshment games and exceed most of the
people
like. In my period's
company
, there is one prerace area or
this
extracurricular activity. Every year the
company
announces some annual support function winning team will get a good gift.
This
gym
will provide equipment and a coach for training. The trainer will guide
people
.
This
will be helpful for organizations that will save their medical cost and employees will improve
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
performance reduce stress and do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
creative work. Considering all the above assertions I would kike to vouch for the
gym
will be the best option to move forward.
Submitted by t.akanksha.mba on

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coherence cohesion
You need to work on creating a more logical and cohesive flow in your writing. Your essay appears to have several disconnected ideas, and the overall structure is lacking. Aim to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises your main points.
task achievement
Your response needs more development to fully meet the task requirements. Aim to provide a clear opinion and support it with relevant reasons and examples. Make sure your ideas are well-developed and answer all parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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