IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #place #rent
In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of flexibility,
people
 choose to
rent
 a
house
 in
urban
Add an article
an urban
show examples
area
while
 rural residents decide to have
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
. I posit that
people
own
Correct pronoun usage
who own
show examples
 or
rent
 a
house
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been Influenced by where they live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Owning a
house
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 is almost likely impossible
due to
 expensive, influenced by an irrational land price because of the limited port in the cities,
while
 renting an apartment is affordable for them.
Furthermore
, many apartments have been built near
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 most
people
 consider
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in order to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
’ time
while
 they
are go
Change the verb form
are going
show examples
 to a job.
For example
, in cities, public transportations are located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
area
Add an article
the area
show examples
, followed by companies and
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
 houses.
Thus
, the employee should live nearby in which they
rent
 it.
However
, many
people
 who stay in the village have their own houses as the land ports are
unexpensive
Correct your spelling
inexpensive
show examples
, leading them to erect their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 based on their needs.
This
 is because
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 rural residents work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 who stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their farms.
Moreover
, because of the remote
area
, there are neither
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 nor apartments, so each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 should build their own
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
.
For example
, rice and corn farmers have different
house
 styles
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they should build appropriate
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 for it. In conclusion,
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 to
owe
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 or
rent
 a
house
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 influenced by the location and the flexibility. In rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
people
 tend to have their
house
Correct word choice
own house
show examples
,
while
 in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
vice versa. To suggest, the government should maintain the land price in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, so many
people
 may have opportunities to have a
house
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should introduce the topic and outline the main ideas you plan to discuss, and your conclusion should summarise your points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and present a clear argument with supporting details. Avoid presenting multiple ideas within a single paragraph without clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationships between ideas and ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Fully respond to all parts of the task. Discuss both views presented in the prompt comprehensively and ensure that your personal opinion is clear and well-supported.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas with well-developed arguments. Be specific in your explanations and ensure that examples provided are relevant to your arguments.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples that directly support the main points you are making. Use these examples to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
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