IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes
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It is a debatable issue whether
pupils
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 do voluntary activities or not across the globe. Some claim that community
service
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 should be a mandatory program in high
school
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 notion because it brings
an
Correct article usage
apply
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organisational
skill
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 and
work
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experience
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.
This
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 essay shall discuss why I agree with
this
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 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
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 with, community
service
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 should be a compulsory part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education in high
school
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 because it helps to
learn
Verb problem
gain
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work
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experience
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during
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while
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 studying. To clarify,
students
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 obtain free
work
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experience
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 without entering the
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work place
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workplace
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such
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 as volunteer
service
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.
For example
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, many charities organise unpaid community
service
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 in rural places to tie up with
school
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 administration
while
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pupils
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 have a chance to
work
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 there and get more
experience
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 from it.
This
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 kind of free
service
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 can help in future when they enter
in
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apply
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companies.
Then
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, free
service
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 should be a mandatory program in high
school
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.
Furthermore
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, an organisation
skill
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 can be improved by
this
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service
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.
Students
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 not only improve
team-
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teamwork
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work
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 during unpaid
service
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 but
also
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mange
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manage
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 their time management ability, and
as a result
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,
pupils
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 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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master
in
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apply
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an
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apply
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organisation
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and
this
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 will help their future.
For instance
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, Indian educational institutions conduct volunteer
work
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every month near
place
Add an article
the place
a place
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 of the institutions
while
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 high
school
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pupils
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 should participate and help
to
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apply
show examples
others.
In other words
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, that
indicate
Verb problem
apply
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can foster
to get
Verb problem
apply
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more helping tendency,
hence
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, unity will increase among
students
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.
To conclude
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, free voluntary activities should be a compulsory part of the high
school
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 syllabus because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to get
work
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experience
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, develop helping
tendency
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tendencies
show examples
 and improve
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organisation
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement in the above-mentioned details and I hope
this
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 drive brings more benefits to
students
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.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows the one before it, using a range of cohesive devices to help the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction and conclusion, clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of your argument, avoiding repetitive language.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear, developed, and relevant examples. It is not necessary to provide personal examples unless specifically asked.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response is complete and fully addresses the topic without deviating.
task achievement
Organize and express your ideas clearly, making sure they are relevant to the topic. Develop your argument in a logical manner, ensuring your stance is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points, ensuring that they directly support the argument you are making. This will help to demonstrate task achievement more effectively.
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