Part 1. The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph depicts the distribution of musical instruments being learned by students in three distinguished years.

Overall

Linking Words

, Piano and Guitar were the most popular among young school children throughout the timestamps,

whereas

Linking Words

Drum and Violin witnessed an opposite trend. Regarding the statistics of the two predominant instruments, an increasing pattern can be observed. In 2005, the percentages of Piano learners were merely higher than that of Guitar, in which 12% and 10%

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

for the former and the latter, respectively.

However

Linking Words

, after a 10% boost for both figures in 2010, Guitar young apprentices quickly escalated to 40% in the next 5 years, which was 5% higher than the occupation of Piano mentees. Meanwhile, a similar tendency can be seen for Drums and Violin beginners. From 2005 to 2010, Violin was

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferred by students, with approximately 10% of the total distribution whilst the figure for drums was solely 5%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the year 2015 recorded inverted data with the percentage of both rhythm instruments substituted with that of 2010.

Submitted by lyhuongclc on Fri Dec 22 2023

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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Part 1. The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that handwriting is no longer useful in the modern world and should not be taught in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?