Part 1. The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#part #bar #percentage #school #children #instrument #information #features #comparisons

The graph depicts the distribution of musical instruments being learned by students in three distinguished years.

Overall

, Piano and Guitar were the most popular among young school children throughout the timestamps,

whereas

Drum and Violin witnessed an opposite trend. Regarding the statistics of the two predominant instruments, an increasing pattern can be observed. In 2005, the percentages of Piano learners were merely higher than that of Guitar, in which 12% and 10%

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

show examples

for the former and the latter, respectively.

However

, after a 10% boost for both figures in 2010, Guitar young apprentices quickly escalated to 40% in the next 5 years, which was 5% higher than the occupation of Piano mentees. Meanwhile, a similar tendency can be seen for Drums and Violin beginners. From 2005 to 2010, Violin was

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferred by students, with approximately 10% of the total distribution whilst the figure for drums was solely 5%.

In contrast

, the year 2015 recorded inverted data with the percentage of both rhythm instruments substituted with that of 2010.

Submitted by lyhuongclc on Fri Dec 22 2023

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Part 1. The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?