IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

#youth #crime #rate #countries #reason #trend #parents #teachers
It is recently true that the young generation gets many kinds of criminal activities in many nations. From my point of view, a number of reasons
such
 as unemployment, friends' influence and traumatic childhood cause
this
 problem. Nowadays, many adults have their own mobile phones and are allowed to use them by their
parents
.
Therefore
, they tend to engage in crime unknowingly.
Secondly
, the issue of rising youth
offence
Fix the agreement mistake
offences
show examples
 is the lack of interaction with
parents
. Children cannot get a chance to discuss their opinions with anyone because almost every parent is busy with their job. In some cases, the relationship between each other is broken.
Moreover
, unemployment can lead to crime.
For example
, a jobless person may become desperate and commit crimes,
such
 as petty theft or even armed robbery to survive. In my opinion, there are alternative ways to resolve
this
 issue. One way is family awareness. If
parents
 bring up their children in a proper way, children will never be involved in any negative activity. Another way would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young people.
This
 could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught. In conclusion, the government and
parents
 should care and prevent teenagers from any kinds of negative activities.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical progression of ideas by using clear topic sentences and coherent paragraphs. Avoid abruptly switching topics without smooth transitions.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly addresses the topic and sets the framework for the essay. Similarly, wrap up with a conclusion that restates your main arguments and gives a final thought on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with detailed explanations, elaborations, and relevant examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, supporting it with evidence or examples.
task achievement
Provide a fully developed response to the prompt, ensuring all parts of the task are addressed sufficiently. Expand on all bullet points or questions posed in the task.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easy to understand. Strive for clarity by defining key terms and concepts, and make comprehensive points that fully elaborate the topic.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure they are specific, relevant, and substantiate the claims made in your essay. Avoid vague or generalized examples as they do not effectively support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!