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Band 5.5

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
 in various areas has improved lately for several reasons. There is a statement that the improvement and success of
science
 should increase
people
’s life standards and the other effects should be minor
beside
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besides
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this
. I completely agree with
this
 statement
due to
 several reasons that I want to discuss in
this
 essay.
First,
science
 is dedicated to different areas like health, technology, transportation and so on, so it is integrated with everything
people
 deal with daily. It means that
science
 can have major effects on
people
’s
lives
 and can solve different problems which
people
 are facing these days.
For instance
, health
science
 can help millions of
people
 to find
a
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treatment and continue living happily.
This
 is not even comparable with other purposes of
science
.
Then
, an enormous amount of money is invested in the improvement of
science
 annually the part of which is from the taxes
people
 themselves pay monthly. So,
science
 should pay back in certain ways and what is better than helping to ease
people
’s
lives
.
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?
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 The taxes should be reduced if the main purpose of
science
 is not going to be
people
’s better way of living.
Last
 but not least, in my opinion, there isn’t anything more precious and special than
people
 having their best life with the minimum difficulty, so if
the
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apply
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science
 is not going to help achieve
this
 goal,
so
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what is more important
that
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than
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the
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science
 is going to prioritize over
people
’s
lives
?
Overall
, I believe that
science
 should consider improving
people
’s
lives
 as its main purpose because of the various reasons mentioned above.
Submitted by eyvaziniloofar on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the main body paragraphs could be better structured with clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas for enhanced readability and flow of information.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a complete response to the statement. Nevertheless, developing your ideas further with a more comprehensive elaboration on how science improves lives, including more varied and specific examples, would strengthen your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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