IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #lesiure #time #men #women #employment #status
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The bar graph illustrates how many
hours
Use synonyms
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
show examples
 as
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 by males and females
according to
Linking Words
 their
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 status between 1998 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, unemployed and retired people spent the most
signicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 on
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 activities. Women who were working as housewives or part-
time
Use synonyms
 employees had much
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 compared to males
wlth
Correct your spelling
with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 status.
Unemployement
Correct your spelling
Unemployment
 and retirement exhibited exactly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 amount of
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 for both genders. Unemployed and retired men spent just over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 as spare
time
Use synonyms
 from 1998 to 1999,
however
Linking Words
, women with
these status
Change the determiner
this status
these statuses
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 just below 80
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 during the same period. Male full-
time
Use synonyms
 employees spent approximately 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 over the period of 1 year
while
Linking Words
 their women counterparts spent nearly 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. Housewives spent around 50
hours
Use synonyms
 of their
time
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 and female part-
time
Use synonyms
 employees'
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
recorded
Add a missing verb
was recorded
show examples
 as just over 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. There
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 for househusbands or part-
time
Use synonyms
 employed males recorded in the data.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, leisure, time, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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