A lot of people are suffering from loneliness these days. They lack of physical fitness. What do you think are the reason of this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?

#people #loneliness #lack #fitness #reason

In today's interconnected society, there is a prevailing proposition, that some individuals have issues,

due to

loneliness.

This

essay will expatiate the reasons and the solutions

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem with relevant examples and a logical conclusion will be drawn. There are several causes of

this

phenomenon. The

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

primary reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

experiences

Wrong verb form

is experiencing

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

significant improvement.

Hence

, some

people

prefer to spend their leisure time watching the TV and smartphones,

instead

of spending time with friends and colleagues.

Consequently

this

factor has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

impact on

people

's social life.

Additionally

, another reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

loneliness is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some kids have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of complications in their family,

due to

several consequences, which promote introvert disorder

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young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age. As an example, children have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social problems and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

anxiety.

On the other hand

, there are various solutions for

this

situation. First of all,

people

should spend more time with their friends or use some apps, which help to create new relationships.

For instance

due to

apps,

such

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apply

show examples

Tinder,

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can find a partner,

while

staying at home and

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

online conversations.

Secondly

, individuals with diseases,

such

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apply

show examples

anxiety, should visit

specialist

Fix the agreement mistake

specialists

show examples

this

field for treatment.

For example

, nowadays psychiatrists are very popular and may help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

with loneliness. In conclusion, there are some reasons,

due to

people

feel

Wrong verb form

feeling

show examples

lonely and

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

low level of physical condition .

Nevertheless

, these complications can be solved by therapists and doctors.

Submitted by hebibli.eli on Fri Dec 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has logical structure, but it could be better enhanced by clear topic sentences and a more apparent progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, they are not fully developed. The introduction should more clearly state the reasons and solutions to be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported to some extent, but the arguments could be strengthened with more detailed examples and a clearer link between the causes/solutions and the issue of loneliness.

task achievement

The task is addressed, with reasons and solutions identified, though the response is sometimes generic. A stronger focus on specific examples would enhance this.

task achievement

Ideas are expressed, but sometimes lack depth. Including more comprehensive arguments with clear explanations will lead to a higher score.

task achievement

Relevant examples are used, but they are not always specific or fully elaborated. To improve, use detailed and directly related examples to reinforce your arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A lot of people are suffering from loneliness these days. They lack of physical fitness. What do you think are the reason of this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?

Your opinion

An increasing number of people of all ages are getting information from electronic products, and some people tend to argue printed books as well as magazines are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Economic progress is not the only way to measure the success of a country. What other factors do you think there are in measuring the success of a country? Which do you think is the most important factor?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantage and disadvantage of tourist who visits such places?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasis that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?