A lot of people are suffering from loneliness these days. They lack of physical fitness. What do you think are the reason of this problem? Can you think of possible solutions?
In today's interconnected society, there is a prevailing proposition, that some individuals have issues,
due to
loneliness. This
essay will expatiate the reasons and the solutions of
Change preposition
to
this
problem with relevant examples and a logical conclusion will be drawn.
There are several causes of this
phenomenon. The most
primary reason is thatCorrect quantifier usage
apply
,
nowadays Remove the comma
apply
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
experiences
Wrong verb form
is experiencing
a
significant improvement. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, some people
prefer to spend their leisure time watching the TV and smartphones, instead
of spending time with friends and colleagues. Consequently
, this
factor has negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
people
's social life. Additionally
, another reason of
loneliness is thatChange preposition
for
,
some kids have Remove the comma
apply
the
number of complications in their family, Correct article usage
a
due to
several consequences, which promote introvert disorder in
Change preposition
at
young
age. As an example, children have Correct article usage
a young
the
social problems and Correct article usage
apply
the
anxiety.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, there are various solutions for this
situation. First of all, people
should spend more time with their friends or use some apps, which help to create new relationships. For instance
, due to
apps, such
as,
Tinder, Remove the comma
apply
Add an article
a person
the person
person
can find a partner, Fix the agreement mistake
people
while
staying at home and have
online conversations. Wrong verb form
having
Secondly
, individuals with diseases, such
as,
anxiety, should visit Remove the comma
apply
specialist
in Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
this
field for treatment. For example
, nowadays psychiatrists are very popular and may help to
Change preposition
apply
people
with loneliness.
In conclusion, there are some reasons, due to
people
feel
lonely and Wrong verb form
feeling
have
Wrong verb form
having
the
low level of physical condition . Correct article usage
a
Nevertheless
, these complications can be solved by therapists and doctors.Submitted by hebibli.eli on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has logical structure, but it could be better enhanced by clear topic sentences and a more apparent progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they are not fully developed. The introduction should more clearly state the reasons and solutions to be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported to some extent, but the arguments could be strengthened with more detailed examples and a clearer link between the causes/solutions and the issue of loneliness.
task achievement
The task is addressed, with reasons and solutions identified, though the response is sometimes generic. A stronger focus on specific examples would enhance this.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed, but sometimes lack depth. Including more comprehensive arguments with clear explanations will lead to a higher score.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, but they are not always specific or fully elaborated. To improve, use detailed and directly related examples to reinforce your arguments.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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