The only way to improve road safety is to give more stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

With increasing the
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
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cars,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
is becoming less. Some claim that
should provide
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
punishments
for driving accidents and
this
is the only way to develop
road
safety
.
However
, considering reasons
such
as
education
and mental health, I totally disagree with
this
idea.
This
essay shall explain why I
against
Add a missing verb
am against
show examples
this
statement for the following reasons.
To begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hard
punishments
cannot improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
because it needs
education
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
. To clarify,
road
rules and regulations should be taught before getting
Add an article
a driver
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driver
Change noun form
driver's
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licence, and
as a result
, driving crashes might be reduced.
For example
, driving
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should take
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
road
safety
along with
rules. Driving licences only
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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pass the
road
safety
exam
besides
training
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
important to develop
road
safety
.
Hence
, providing strict
punishments
for driving offences cannot help to improve
road
safety
unlike
education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
useful.
Furthermore
, mental health
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for driving
offence
Fix the agreement mistake
offences
show examples
because people suffer
these
Change preposition
from these
show examples
issues
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays,
thus
,
creates
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
more driving crashes
while
drive
Change the verb form
driving
show examples
.
This
means, these people should need
the
Correct article usage
apply
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psychological counselling
instead
of
punishing
Replace the word
punishment
show examples
.
For instance
, drivers may increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
speed
suddently
Correct your spelling
suddenly
due to
venting emotions. They cannot concentrate on
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
and driving because they suffer
mental
Change preposition
from mental
show examples
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
,
hence
, psychological counselling is needed to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving accidents and improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
instead
of punishing
strictly
Correct pronoun usage
them strictly
show examples
.
To conclude
, providing strict
punishments
for driving offences cannot improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
because it needs
education
and training
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
safety
as well as
psychological counselling for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
show examples
mental
Change preposition
from mental
show examples
illness.
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with
this
statement in the above-mentioned details.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, but the development of ideas is not fully elaborated. While examples are provided, they are generic and limited in effectiveness. You must expand on your ideas with more specific and varied examples to support your argument. Aim to analyze the points further and illustrate them with distinct, convincing scenarios to improve the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, to enhance your score in this area, pay closer attention to paragraph organization so that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical follow-through. Also, consider using a range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your points more effectively, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • reckless behavior
  • psychological deterrence
  • adhere
  • penalties
  • awareness campaigns
  • knowledge and skills
  • technological solutions
  • advanced safety features
  • automatic braking systems
  • lane departure warnings
  • traffic surveillance
  • enforce laws
  • socio-economic impact
  • disproportionately
  • broader social issues
  • community engagement
  • road safety culture
  • collective responsibility
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