The only way to improve road safety is to give more stricter punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
With increasing the
private
cars, Correct quantifier usage
number of private
the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
is becoming less. Some claim that should provide
Verb problem
apply
the
strict Correct article usage
apply
punishments
for driving accidents and this
is the only way to develop road
safety
. However
, considering reasons such
as education
and mental health, I totally disagree with this
idea. This
essay shall explain why I against
Add a missing verb
am against
this
statement for the following reasons.
To begin
with, the
hard Correct article usage
apply
punishments
cannot improve the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
because it needs education
of
Change preposition
about
the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
. To clarify, road
rules and regulations should be taught before getting Add an article
a driver
driver
licence, and Change noun form
driver's
as a result
, driving crashes might be reduced. For example
, driving school
should take Fix the agreement mistake
schools
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
of
Change preposition
on
road
safety
along with
rules. Driving licences only provide
for Wrong verb form
provided
who
pass the Correct pronoun usage
those who
road
safety
exam besides
training also
important to develop Add a missing verb
is also
road
safety
. Hence
, providing strict punishments
for driving offences cannot help to improve road
safety
unlike education
are
useful.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Furthermore
, mental health also
one of the Add a missing verb
is also
reason
for driving Change to a plural noun
reasons
offence
because people suffer Fix the agreement mistake
offences
these
issues Change preposition
from these
in
nowadays, Change preposition
apply
thus
, creates
more driving crashes Wrong verb form
creating
while
drive
. Change the verb form
driving
This
means, these people should need the
psychological counselling Correct article usage
apply
instead
of punishing
. Replace the word
punishment
For instance
, drivers may increase the
speed Change the word
their
suddently
Correct your spelling
suddenly
due to
venting emotions. They cannot concentrate on road
and driving because they suffer Add an article
the road
mental
health Change preposition
from mental
issue
, Fix the agreement mistake
issues
hence
, psychological counselling is needed to reduce the
driving accidents and improve Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
instead
of punishing strictly
.
Correct pronoun usage
them strictly
To conclude
, providing strict punishments
for driving offences cannot improve the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
because it needs education
and training of
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
road
safety
as well as
psychological counselling for who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
mental
illness. Change preposition
from mental
Therefore
, I strongly disagree with this
statement in the above-mentioned details.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout, but the development of ideas is not fully elaborated. While examples are provided, they are generic and limited in effectiveness. You must expand on your ideas with more specific and varied examples to support your argument. Aim to analyze the points further and illustrate them with distinct, convincing scenarios to improve the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, to enhance your score in this area, pay closer attention to paragraph organization so that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logical follow-through. Also, consider using a range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your points more effectively, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.