Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

#manager #sports #club #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope

this

letter finds you well.I am writing to enquire about taking membership in your sports

club

. My name is Kartik Velede working as a software developer for Kubra which is located in Ontario. Apart from being a programmer, I have

also

playing

Change the verb form

played

show examples

cricket for India A since childhood. Regarding my interest in joining your sports facility, I would like

Add the particle

show examples

emphasize that I heard a lot of positive reviews about the work you have been doing in

this

industry for young athletes. I

also

came to know that , you were able to produce

100's

Change noun form

hundreds

show examples

of cricketers for

Indian

Correct article usage

the Indian

show examples

team from your facility.

Therefore

, I was so excited to join the

club

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and train under your guidance for my upcoming tournament.

Moreover

, I would like to get some information about the cost of

one-year

Add an article

a one-year

show examples

membership.

Additionally

, by visiting the

club

website it shows that there is a modern gym facility

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

present within the

club

. Does access to the gym cover under my membership? Is there any extra cost involved in having a personal trainer? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Kartik Velede.

Submitted by karthik.veledy on Sat Dec 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea and make use of varied linking words to enhance cohesion.

task achievement

Try to use a more consistently formal tone throughout the letter, avoiding contractions and maintaining a polite, respectful language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crime should receive adult punishment. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?