Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion You should write at least 250 words.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Whether governments should ban high-risk

sports

Use synonyms

becoming a hot issue around the world, whilst

such

Linking Words

activities could endanger the safety of participants, and increase the cost to society sources, I personally agree that

people

Use synonyms

should have the freedom to decide if they want to be part of

such

Linking Words

events. On the one hand, extreme

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as sky-diving, car racing,

as well as

Linking Words

scuba diving, could cause irreversible damage to participants, including paralysing and permanent physical disabilities,

therefore

Linking Words

, opponents believe that it is the obligation of governments to restrict

such

Linking Words

events. On top of that, the injuries and fatality cases caused by extreme

sports

Use synonyms

will cost a lot of healthcare sources,

along with

Linking Words

governmental manpower, which could be used better in other emergency situations.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

died or had serious injuries from free diving, which cost lots of manpower to rescue victims in the ocean

along with

Linking Words

all the medical sources that are used to save them, which is considered a waste of

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

resources.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, in my perspective, it is the right of adults to conduct risky behaviour by knowing the potential hazards

due to

Linking Words

various advantages. First of all, doing dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

could help

people

Use synonyms

release

stress

Add an article

the stress

show examples

that accumulated from their daily lives, it is good for their mental health and deters them from being depressed and pessimistic.

Secondly

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

events are attractive to many audiences in the world, it could benefit the host nations, in the aspects of economics and visibility in the world. Take F1 as an example, it is an internationally well-known car race, attracting thousands and millions of

people

Use synonyms

to participate, bringing a great amount of commercial benefit to Singapore during the seasons,

moreover

Linking Words

, making more overseas

people

Use synonyms

experience local culture. To summarise, it is inevitable that dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

have many potential risks that could damage one's health,

however

Linking Words

, I agree that authorities should not ban

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

without legal regulation for the positive effects

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

derives

Correct subject-verb agreement

derive

show examples

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Sat Dec 23 2023

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Introduction

The essay lacks a clear introduction that clearly states the topic and outlines the writer's position. It is recommended to begin with a more concise introduction that previews the points that will be discussed.

Conclusion

The conclusion of the essay does not effectively summarize the main points or reiterate the writer's opinion. Work on crafting a conclusion that encapsulates the arguments made and reinforces the writer's stance.

Main Points

Main points are mentioned but not fully developed. To improve, each main point should be elaborated on with more detailed support and examples.

Task Response

Your response must directly address the task. While you have touched upon the key areas, expanding on each point with more detail and development would better fulfill the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion You should write at least 250 words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.