IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

#rentals #sales #formats #films #store
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As seen on the chart, between 2002 and 2011, the annual
number
 of
rentals
 tends to decrease
while
 the annual
number
 of
sales
 differs depending on the film’s
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
. During 2002-2003, there is a significant difference between the
number
 of
sales
 and
rentals
, with
rentals
 being higher.
However
, starting from 2004, the
number
 of
sales
 is higher than
rentals
.
Moreover
, among the
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 of films, on average,
DVD
sales
 have the highest
number
 of
sales
 compared to the other types of film. In 2002, the
number
 of VHS
sales
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 higher than
DVD
sales
.
Nevertheless
, VHS
sales
 experienced a continuous decline from 2003 to 2005,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
DVD
sales
 increased and reached their peak in 2007. As the Blu-ray
sales
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 in 2007, the
number
 of
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 began a continues
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
 from 2008 to 2011.
On the other hand
, the
sales
 of Blu-Ray films increase during the same period. Compared to the
number
 of
rentals
, the
number
 of film
sales
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 lower in 2002 and 2002.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion. While some elements are present, the coherence could be improved by using clearer topic sentences and more effective transitions between ideas.
task achievement
You should aim to completely satisfy the task by fully outlining the trends shown in the chart. Each point you discuss should be fully explained and supported by specific data where appropriate. Avoid any vague terms and strive for precision in your descriptions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Rentals
  • Sales
  • Formats
  • VHS (Video Home System)
  • DVD (Digital Versatile Disc)
  • Blu-ray
  • Peak
  • Decline
  • Rise
  • Market changes
  • Digital downloads
  • Physical formats
  • Over the years
  • Annual
  • Comparison
  • Impact
  • Technological advancements
  • Shift
  • Predictions
What to do next:
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