In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?
Working hard and achieving your goals is one of the major pieces of
advice
that prevails in some of our societies,even,though children
are told,if they try hard,they can achieve anything.The principal advantages are self-belief, fostering a sense of resilience and determination.The main disadvantages are the creation of unrealistic expectation
and feelings of disappointment.
The main advantage of telling Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
children
to try hard is self-belief.It is generally believed that working hard makes children
more self reliance
and a kind of believer man.Add a hyphen
self-reliance
Therefore
,it is clear that
this
advice
helps children
in their lives to remain calm and confident.The second advantage of telling children
to work hard is to foster their sense of resilience and determination.It is considered that the struggles of children
,make them different and determined people.In other words
,it promotes a growth mindset in them.Hence
,this
advice
makes them more focused on their goals.
Despite these advantages,there are some major cons of this
saying.The first one is,that it may lead to feelings of disappointment.In addition
,it can lead to the children
to stress ,
and make them discouraged.Remove the comma
apply
For instance
,in Pakistan,students in the 12 grade,work hard to get admission to medical colleges, and if they do not get entrance,they become disappointed.Hence
,this
piece of advice
is not in favour of children
.Secondly
,this
can lead to unrealistic expectations,if they can not achieve the goal,they get stressed.This
is major
drawback.
In conclusion, self-belief and fostering a sense of resilience and determination can be advantageous;Add an article
a major
however
,they should also
be careful,as it can lead to the creation of unrealistic goals and feelings of disappointment.Submitted by jamalashraf45 on
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task achievement
The essay loosely addresses the task with some relevant points, but it fails to fully develop them. The advantages and disadvantages mentioned could be more explicitly linked to the cultural presumption 'children can achieve anything if they work hard.' Expand on the ideas and illustrate them with more concrete, specific, and relevant examples to improve task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an identifiable structure but lacks clear progression in places. Work on creating more cohesive links between your main points by using a wider range of linking words beyond 'Therefore' and 'In other words'. Additionally, avoid comma splices and run-on sentences to maintain coherence and present a more structured argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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