Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

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Many

museums

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are demanding cost to allow

people

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to visit there whilst they are allowed to visit other

museums

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complimentary. The advantages of paying for

museums

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are worth them as I believe that

people

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can play a positive role in preserving their properties. Charging to enter

museums

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has two main advantages. One of the major benefits is that the charge has been taken into consideration by authorities to provide better facilities and conditions in order to maintain the heritage for as many decades as possible. By way of example,

this

Linking Words

charge spends on improving the security of these places by recruiting more guards to prevent the danger of burglary or they may intend to employ more museum curators.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it gives visitors a sense of fulfilment as they have participated in the protection of their possessions.

Also

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, society usually appreciates something which is spent money on it.

Thus

Linking Words

, if they pay money to visit

museums

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, more appreciation will be regarded for these valuable properties on the folk's behalf.

However

Linking Words

this

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trend brings about decreasing individuals' knowledge regarding their history and ancestors.

Due to

Linking Words

myriad of

people

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have been reluctant to go to

such

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museums

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as they cannot pay the price of tickets and they are the target of a limited number of tourists and natives.

whereas

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, if more

museums

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become free, not only they

are

Wrong verb form

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affordable for all

people

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, but

also

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people

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will be encouraged to know more about cultures, histories, and arts.

For instance

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, in my country, the number of visitors

Change preposition

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Golestan

Correct article usage

the Golestan

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palace museum

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Palace Museum

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is normally more than Zaman

museums

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because it doesn't require

charge

Add an article

a charge

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Consequently

Linking Words

, fewer foreigners would know about our traditions, artefacts, and customs and they would share less information with their fellow countries. In conclusion, in my view, the upsides of getting fees at the entrance of the

museums

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outweigh its downsides as it causes national properties will hold in descent situations and will be able to remain for more years to be represented to the next generations.

Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on Sat Dec 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but work on making your thesis statement clearer in the introduction and restate your main points more effectively in the conclusion to leave a stronger final impression.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with more detailed examples and evidence. Try to vary sentence structure to add depth to your arguments. This makes your points more compelling and your essay more engaging.

task achievement

You have responded to the task adequately by presenting arguments for both sides and offering a clear opinion. To improve, ensure that you completely answer all parts of the prompt and develop your ideas more fully.

task achievement

Strive for clarity and detail in your ideas to provide a more comprehensive view. While you've conveyed your opinion, elaborating on the nuances would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your claims; this strengthens your argument and shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Try to draw from a wide range of sources or contexts to add depth to your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

"Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? (Reported 2017, 2018, 2020, 2021)"

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. What are the advantages for a company having a uniform? Are there any benefits of having a uniform for the staff?

. Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays many people complain that they have dificulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.