In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

I will play in an audition in four weeks. So, I have to work hard on the rehearsals to achieve a good performance. There is a lot of work to do,
such
as painting the scenario, selling tickets, and finding clothes that fit the audition. To help me with the rehearsals, I am doing mindfulness
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and sleeping early to wake up well and willing on the next day.
Submitted by fmulato on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The text provided does not address the IELTS essay question about the emphasis on sports and exercising. It is crucial to answer the prompt directly, presenting a clear opinion and related examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical structure, with no introduction, clear progression of ideas, or conclusion relevant to the given topic. An effective essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, all woven together with cohesive devices.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: