In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

#countries #people #ages #place #emphasis #sports #development

I will play in an audition in four weeks. So, I have to work hard on the rehearsals to achieve a good performance. There is a lot of work to do,

such

as painting the scenario, selling tickets, and finding clothes that fit the audition. To help me with the rehearsals, I am doing mindfulness

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

and sleeping early to wake up well and willing on the next day.

Submitted by fmulato on Sat Dec 23 2023

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task achievement

The text provided does not address the IELTS essay question about the emphasis on sports and exercising. It is crucial to answer the prompt directly, presenting a clear opinion and related examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a logical structure, with no introduction, clear progression of ideas, or conclusion relevant to the given topic. An effective essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, all woven together with cohesive devices.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

69 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college , University or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some eople believe that the radio is more enjoyable and practical than TV. Do you agree ?

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What ccan be done about this?

Restoration of old buildings in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is individual responsibility to protect the environment while others say it is the government's primary role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.