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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information on the number of subscribers paying to use fixed telephone lines and mobile networks in Africa between 994 and 2004.

The graph below gives information on the number of subscribers paying to use fixed telephone lines and mobile networks in Africa between 994 and 2004.
The provided illustration indicates the volume of African receptors of both fixed and portable telephone
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
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 from 1994 to 2004. Units are measured per 100 residents.
Overall
Linking Words
, a glance at the graph reveals a substantial growth in the quantity of mobile
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of fixed
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled over the period. When it comes to the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fixed telephone subscribers, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted
1.7
Change preposition
for 1.7
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 in 1994, the figure demonstrated a slight surge over the years. The growing trend moderately continued up to
last
Linking Words
 year, when it reached to 3.1 in 2004. As
regard
Correct subject-verb agreement
regards
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 to mobile subscribers, it had started well under the fixed phone
user
Use synonyms
 with 0.06 in 1994. Despite having
slow
Add an article
a slow
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 increase in
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 years, the data reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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1 in 1999. After 1999 we saw an abrupt upward trend in their number,
whereas
Linking Words
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 stood
in
Change preposition
at
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 8.8 in 2004. It is noticeable to declare that the proportion of mobile
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 surpassed the number of fixed
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 in 2001.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words user with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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