In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Technology has taken over our lives and it provides
teremendous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
opportunites
for people and it might offer Correct your spelling
opportunities
livinig
Correct your spelling
living
in
another Change preposition
on
planet
, in future. It is argued that institutes have to spend large chunks of money
to research to live in
another Change preposition
on
planet
. this
trend is considered to be negative compared with negligible positive aspects. Capitalize word
This
this
essay will support our opinion with examples.
On the one hand, this
trend has some plus points. To start with, we may find a better planet
with a more proper situation for living. For example
, if we find the
Correct article usage
a
planet
that have
some suitable characteristics Correct subject-verb agreement
has
such
as lush vegetation and enough clean water, all people desperately want to immigrate there. However
, there is no guarantee to find this
planet
even with spending a lot of money
. Therefore
, it is somehow plausibe
to explore to discover a novel Correct your spelling
plausible
planet
.
On the other hand
, I believe that this
research is detrimental. Firstly
, I think we have to preserve our natrual
habitat, apart from finding a new Correct your spelling
natural
planet
and if people see a novel planet
that they can transfer to them, they absoloutly
will destroy the earth's habitat. Correct your spelling
absolutely
Moreover
, we can spend much more money
to invest in fields related to keep
the earth safe ,except spending to find Change the verb form
keeping
new
Add an article
a new
planet
. As a result
, it can be certainly said this
trend is not onlt
unnecessary but Correct your spelling
only
also
detrimental.
all things considered, although
it has some plus points ,such
as the chance of finding a decent planet
and better quality of life, this
is supported by many fact
Change to a plural noun
facts
that
is
detrimental like wasting large chunks of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
money
and being unmotivated about protecting habitat.Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and distinct, and they directly address the essay prompt. Your current introduction and conclusion are lacking direct relevance to the specific issue at hand regarding funding for space exploration.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, with fully elaborated and well-supported points rather than general statements.
Task Achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples that are directly relevant to your arguments. Vague or hypothetical examples lessen the impact of your reasoning and make your essay less persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay with a more logical structure. Use clear, logical paragraphing and make sure each paragraph centers around a single main idea for better coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive to maintain a logical flow throughout your essay. The progression from one idea to another should be smooth and easy to follow, with clear connections between points and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Address grammatical errors such as spelling ('teremendous' should be 'tremendous', 'natrual' should be 'natural') and syntax issues for improved coherence and overall readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
