In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
For several years,
people
have thought that owning a house
is much better than renting one. Evidently, this
is an idea that have
Change the verb form
has
sticked
with Correct your spelling
stuck
people
for decades and that has been linked to a normative deeply inserted in society, strictly related to the individuals' stability and social position. Above all
, I think this
conception can be negative for people
's freedom of decision making
.Now, Add a hyphen
decision-making
this
essay intends to explain the reasons for this
case.
First,
thinking that having a house
of your own is related by many to status. Naturally, purchasing a house
or apartment involves big amounts of money, which is not something the average citizen accounts for today. Especially now that the world is facing a housing crisis, prices have skyrocketed which makes it even harder for members of society to get their own property. Hence
, buying a property has become a symbol of money and status in today's society.
Secondly
, living under your own roof provides a sense of stability. Those who own their own places know that, in the case of unexpected events such
as economic crisis
or losing their jobs, they at least know they will not become homeless. Fix the agreement mistake
crises
For example
, there has
been several major economic Change the verb form
have
crisis
in the Change to a plural noun
crises
last
decades, namely the one in 2008, which involved many people
being fired. Consequently
, they were not able to pay rent, thus
ending living on the streets. Conversely
, that was not a problem for those who own their own home.
In conclusion, owning a property is an idea that proclaims to provide an image of status and a sense of stability. Nevertheless
, I believe it is a conception that has stopped many people
from doing what they trully
want, Correct your spelling
truly
for example
saving for traveling
or buying things they desire Change the spelling
travelling
instead
of saving in order to buy a house
.Submitted by tamaracheroki on
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task achievement
Your essay introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, which should indicate the direct answer to the question posed, and provide a brief overview of what the essay will cover. This is essential to guide the reader.
task achievement
The body paragraphs need to be more focused on supporting the main points with clear and specific examples, which are currently generic. Your argumentation would benefit from more detailed illustrations of points made.
task achievement
The conclusion should succinctly summarize the essay's main points and restate your position, reinforcing the central argument. It currently reads as an opinion statement without directly tying back to the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer logical structure, using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence to link back to the overall essay question.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices effectively to show relationships between ideas and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Some ideas appear abruptly without clear logical connectors.
coherence cohesion
Review the essay for typographical and spelling errors such as 'trully' which should be 'truly'. Attention to such details is critical.