An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

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Presently, it is commonly
seems
Verb problem
seen

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that
the
Change the article
a

It appears that the phrase large number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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large number of youngsters are influenced by junk
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or beverages rather
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then
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than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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nutrition alternatives, which has been considered a major reason behind obesity among youth.
This
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essay will elaborate few problems integrated with overweight children and their
solution
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solutions

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in
blow
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two

The word blow doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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paragraphs.
To begin
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with, the main reason associated with it is bad
health
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. Obesity can lead to
saveral
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severe

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diseases like high blood pressure, sugar, and cholesterol.
Linking Words
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

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human life span decreased
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

unhealthy activities.
For instance
Linking Words

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, as per the report of America large percentage of youngsters
eaten
Wrong verb form
eat

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb eaten. Consider changing it.

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fast
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and cold drinks so they are most likely to be affected by bad
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
their
Change the word
the

The word their may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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coming
Correct word choice
near

There may be an adjective issue here.

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future.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, healthy
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a must for everyone.
Further
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, I completely agree that steps need to be taken for the future of our kids before it's too late. Parents and teachers should make teenagers aware of the harmful effects of consuming street foods and cold drinks. It's
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essential for the government to increase taxes on
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

food
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products
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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so that youngsters are less attracted to outside
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For Instance
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, in Japan, minors are educated about healthy living in their schools only
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...

This sentence ends with a double period. Consider changing the punctuation.

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To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Obesity is a major
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

concern among teenagers, caused by their consumption of junk
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and sugary beverages. Some
nesseary
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necessary

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step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps

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should be taken considering the
health
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the nation.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

govement
Correct your spelling
government
movement

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and
perents
Correct your spelling
parents

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must ensure children
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not

It appears that the negative verb form not get is incorrect. Consider changing the verb form.

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get addicted to the local eatable
thinks
Correct your spelling
things

The word thinks doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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like
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers

It seems that burger may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, chips and so on.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion that summarizes your points effectively. The introduction should set the context and state the aim of the essay. Main body paragraphs should each contain one central idea with explanations and examples. The conclusion should restate the main points succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Create a logical flow of ideas by using cohesive devices and transition words appropriately, which helps in connecting sentences and paragraphs smoothly, enhancing understanding for the reader. Avoid abrupt transitions.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with well-supported ideas, explanations, and clear examples. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the topic with details and illustrations.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a complete answer to the question prompt. Your essay should thoroughly explore the problems associated with obesity in children and offer steps to prevent it, as per the question requirement.
task achievement
Present your ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that you provide a detailed analysis of the topic at hand. Stay focused and avoid straying from the main topic. Provide depth in your explanations to demonstrate a strong understanding of the subject.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your points. Examples should be directly related to your arguments and should be used to illustrate and reinforce your ideas effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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