An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

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Presently, it is commonly

seems

Verb problem

seen

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that

the

Change the article

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large number of youngsters are influenced by junk

food

Use synonyms

or beverages rather

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

nutrition alternatives, which has been considered a major reason behind obesity among youth.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate few problems integrated with overweight children and their

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

blow

Correct your spelling

two

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paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main reason associated with it is bad

health

Use synonyms

. Obesity can lead to

saveral

Correct your spelling

severe

diseases like high blood pressure, sugar, and cholesterol.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

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human life span decreased

due to

Linking Words

unhealthy activities.

For instance

Linking Words

, as per the report of America large percentage of youngsters

eaten

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

and cold drinks so they are most likely to be affected by bad

health

Use synonyms

their

Change the word

the

show examples

coming

Correct word choice

near

show examples

future.

Although

Linking Words

, healthy

food

Use synonyms

is a must for everyone.

Further

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, I completely agree that steps need to be taken for the future of our kids before it's too late. Parents and teachers should make teenagers aware of the harmful effects of consuming street foods and cold drinks. It's

also

Linking Words

essential for the government to increase taxes on

such

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

products

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that youngsters are less attracted to outside

food

Use synonyms

For Instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, minors are educated about healthy living in their schools only

Replace the punctuation

...

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To conclude

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, Obesity is a major

health

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concern among teenagers, caused by their consumption of junk

food

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and sugary beverages. Some

nesseary

Correct your spelling

necessary

step

Fix the agreement mistake

steps

show examples

should be taken considering the

health

Use synonyms

of the nation.

Therefore

Linking Words

govement

Correct your spelling

government

movement

and

perents

Correct your spelling

parents

must ensure children

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

get addicted to the local eatable

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

burger

Fix the agreement mistake

burgers

show examples

, chips and so on.

shubhashish.bobbySun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure to structure your essay with a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion that summarizes your points effectively. The introduction should set the context and state the aim of the essay. Main body paragraphs should each contain one central idea with explanations and examples. The conclusion should restate the main points succinctly.

coherence cohesion

Create a logical flow of ideas by using cohesive devices and transition words appropriately, which helps in connecting sentences and paragraphs smoothly, enhancing understanding for the reader. Avoid abrupt transitions.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points with well-supported ideas, explanations, and clear examples. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the topic with details and illustrations.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by providing a complete answer to the question prompt. Your essay should thoroughly explore the problems associated with obesity in children and offer steps to prevent it, as per the question requirement.

task achievement

Present your ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that you provide a detailed analysis of the topic at hand. Stay focused and avoid straying from the main topic. Provide depth in your explanations to demonstrate a strong understanding of the subject.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your points. Examples should be directly related to your arguments and should be used to illustrate and reinforce your ideas effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that getting the degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into the work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?