IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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Some people think that
students
Use synonyms
 should
be focus
Change the verb form
be focused
be focusing
show examples
 on the main major.
However
Linking Words
, I support the view that
students
Use synonyms
 who choose
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 to become more learn
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 knowledge
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
become more useful members of
society
Use synonyms
. There are two reasons why people argue that
students
Use synonyms
 should only learn a subject. They believe that
students
Use synonyms
learn
Correct pronoun usage
who learn
show examples
 hard on a subject can achieve
professional
Change the adjective
professionally
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level of education is more
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to learn ,
therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 need to develop deeply to realize what they study.
Also
Linking Words
,
students
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 can become more professional in their studies after graduation, which means that they can complete assignments on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with the
voew
Correct your spelling
view
 that
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to learn what they want to become more useful members of
society
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. Studying various
subjects
Use synonyms
 develops a sense of ability
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
students
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,
This
Linking Words
 helps them to find a passion towards the goal. Owning a sense of empowerment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 study
also
Linking Words
 encourages
students
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participate
Add the particle
to participate
show examples
 in a variety of group activities.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 should cooperate with different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 of
students
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 that they can learn different
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 to achieve
potential
Correct pronoun usage
their potential
show examples
. These
subjects
Use synonyms
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 to develop a sense of responsibility.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 educated in various
enviroments
Correct your spelling
environments
 are more likely to become adults who can contribute to
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 letting
students
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study a major, I believe that
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 always be at
core
Add an article
the core
show examples
 of education because it helps schools to produce individuals who can become more useful members of
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kristy.liu910 on

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task achievement
Maintain a clear position throughout the response and avoid contradictory statements.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs with a clear central topic and elaborate on your points with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing and use a range of linking words accurately to connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures and work on varying your grammar and vocabulary.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: