Some people think the manufactures and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that packaged
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should controlled by
producers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others
consume
Verb problem
believe

There may be a verb use issue here.

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that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is one of the important
society
Replace the word
societal

The word society doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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burden
Change to a plural noun
burdens

The singular countable noun burden follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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by
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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buying less and simple packaging.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss both sides of the discussion and reach
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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conclusion. On the one hand, those who support packaged
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should controlled by
producers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

promote
Fix the infinitive
to promote

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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the idea that
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers

The word manufactures doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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use extreme packaging to make them attractive. By
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Add a comma
this,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase By this. Consider adding a comma.

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we mean that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads

It seems that the verb lead does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb buy. Consider changing it.

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more
their
Change preposition
of their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by customers and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be dangerous for
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, folk
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
buying excessive
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can make
numerous
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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garbage which can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment

The word environmental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
because it can not be retrievable.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the number of packaging
create
Change the form of the verb
created

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb create. Consider changing it.

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by deforestation. Logging trees can
be increase
Change the verb form
increase

It appears that the form of the verb increase does not work with be in this sentence.

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pollution levels.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers

The word manufactures doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
produce
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products

It seems that product may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that create by
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper

It seems that papers may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads

It seems that the verb lead does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
to logging a lot of trees which can not be eco-friendly. The other side of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

debate
that
Add a missing verb
is that

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
manufactures
Replace the word
manufacturers

The word manufactures doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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can not singly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue. At
first,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people often want to buy
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with high quality by good packaging. By
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase By this. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
we mean that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue
lead
Change the verb form
leads

The verb lead does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
to
producers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

make
Wrong verb form
making

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb make. Consider changing it.

show examples
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which can
be create
Change the verb form
create

It appears that the form of the verb create does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
global warming.
Example
Add an article
An example
The example

The noun phrase Example seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
can be seen
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker when. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
when people buy
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which can damage the ecology,
producers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
consider the catastrophe that
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb happen. Consider changing it.

show examples
in
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
and they just want to sell their
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Second,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

folk by buying more packaging that
does
Verb problem
is

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
not environmentally sustainable, encourage
producers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to produce more and more
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb be appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
imperil biodiversity.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

produce
Wrong verb form
are produced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb produce. Consider changing it.

show examples
in difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations

It seems that situation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
that can
be disrupt
Change the verb form
disrupt

It appears that the form of the verb disrupt does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
living species. In conclusion, excessive packaging hurts the
environmental
Replace the word
environment

The word environmental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my opinion,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is not something that
only
Add a missing verb
is only

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
dependent on
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers

The word manufactures doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
. Consumers
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

should use minimal and less packaging.

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introduction and conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that neatly bookend the discussion. The introduction should clearly state the issue and the writer's intention to discuss both views before presenting an opinion. The conclusion should summarize the key points made and restate the writer's opinion for clarity.
supported main points
Main points should be better supported by clear and specific examples. While attempts are made to illustrate points with examples, these are often too vague or general and don't effectively demonstrate the argument.
complete response
The response needs to fully address the prompt by discussing the views with equitable detail and providing a clear personal opinion. The personal opinion is mentioned, but it lacks depth and full integration into the overall discussion of the topic.
clear and comprehensive ideas
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. The essay often contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder clear communication. Practice developing ideas fully with correct grammar and varied sentence structures for better clarity.
logical structure
The coherence of the essay can be improved by creating a more logical structure that clearly distinguishes between paragraphs and ideas. Use conjunctions and topic sentences effectively to guide the reader through the argument.
cohesion
More care should be taken to use cohesive devices correctly to improve the flow of the essay. While some linking words are used, the overall coherence is negatively impacted by some misapplications and repetitive structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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