IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should in 20 minutes for this task.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should in 20 minutes for this task.
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The assigned bar graph
elucidate
Correct subject-verb agreement
elucidates
show examples
 the information about the amount of free
time
Use synonyms
 enjoyed by
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 distinct employment positions and it was from the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998 to 1999
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending
time
Use synonyms
 in a week. It
was have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 five different streams
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Employed
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, Employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, Unemployed, Retired and Housewifes. It is evident from
bar
Add an article
the bar
show examples
 graph that
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 hours of leisure
time
Use synonyms
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
show examples
 and Retired
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 82%.
Whereas
Linking Words
females
Use synonyms
 were enjoyed with family the hours of 78%. ,
While
Linking Words
 males second highest
time
Use synonyms
 spend from employed full
time
Use synonyms
 it was less than half and female has almost 38%. Probing ahead, Males have not
involved
Add a missing verb
been involved
show examples
 in any activity
employed
Correct word choice
and employed
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and Housewifes as compared to
females
Use synonyms
 only
females
Use synonyms
 have
leisure
Add an article
a leisure
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 with family in Housewifes and employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 it was (about 50% and 40% respectively). Overview,
females
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 hours in leisure activities
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than males. But only two employment where men have enjoyed it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 unemployed and Retired people.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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