It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#factors #child #development #media #pop #culture #friends #point #role

Reguullary

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Regularly

in the contemporary era ,some people have a notion that

chidrens

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children

improvement is influenced by

acces

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access

magezing

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magazine

magazines

community

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a community

show examples

foundation and relationship with beneficial

individulas

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individuals

while

other the group say that family

enviroment

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environment

prime reflected on

childrens

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children's

show examples

growth.

besid

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beside

to both side have an

egually

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equally

compelling argument , we discuss

reder

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redder

show examples

oponions

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opinions

each of group. on the one hand .in the modern

world

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world,

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the majority of

childrens

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children

children's

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

a lot of time on

internet

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the internet

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

smart mobile or

tablet

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tablets

show examples

and other technology. Indeed access to advanced equipment causes increases

childrens

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children's

show examples

knowledge ,

also

they can

communicated

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communicate

show examples

with other

freinds

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friends

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through

show examples

social media ,

for example

in the period corona virus epidemic

childrens

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children

show examples

were probability

participate

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to participate

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in classes through

the

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apply

show examples

online application .

As well as

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the opproach

show examples

opproach

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approach

internet

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the internet

show examples

end up to develop

creativ

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creative

youth decides and

help

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helps

show examples

their to

gathering

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gather

show examples

information about

diffrent culthures fot

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different cultures for

better

choice

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choices

show examples

for lifestyle,

such

as Uerop

culther

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culture

how

make

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to make

show examples

Change the article

show examples

adequate lifestyle and change their

attiude

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attitude

about

futher

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further

.have a suitable

puplis

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pupils

inside everyone can prevent of

hazars

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hazards

hazard

,As

intnce

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intense

can say

eescue

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rescue

assumotion

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assumption

assumptions

that

thaeir

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their

work.

By contrast

others

agrue

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argue

agree

that family has significant role regarded

main

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the main

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cornerstone for

betterment

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the betterment

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or learn betterment

skils

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skills

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.They always try to make

right

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the right

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choice for

child

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the child

show examples

that

mantion

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mention

mansion

due

their

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to their

show examples

experience.Parents have

responsibility

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a responsibility

show examples

reader to

futhure

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foster

children.

for

Capitalize word

For

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exapmle

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example

iran

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Iran

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most

family

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families

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want for comfortable and safely their life and

improve

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to improve

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education to bring high

quailty

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high-quality

country for immigration .

overall

,it

seen

Verb problem

show examples

advisable that access to

internet

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the internet

show examples

for children to be family take care that avoid

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apply

show examples

undersirable

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undesirable

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experience

experince

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experiences

and they can

will

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apply

show examples

perfect

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perfectly

show examples

use

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a coherent structure, which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Please ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs with specific main points, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link your ideas logically.

task achievement

You have attempted to address the prompt, but the response is incomplete, and ideas are not fully developed. Include a clear opinion in the introduction, develop each view with specific reasons and examples, and provide a conclusion with your opinion summarised and restated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
70Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
development
media
pop culture
peers
family
social skills
beliefs
values
emotional support
moral guidance
aspirations
self-image
social development
value system
harmony
conflict
significant
behaviors

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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

you work for a large corporation. You want to apply for one month's leave owing to illness. Write to your manager requesting leave for the same. In your letter • introduce yourself • describe about your illness • inform the manager how you intend to manage your job assignment in your absence

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that manufacture and supermarkets have the responsible to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customer should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.