IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#places #world #tourism #source #income
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Many countries depend on
the
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apply
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tourists to provide
the
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apply
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essential
finicial
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financial
 income.
However
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, poor
managment
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management
 in
this
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 field is rising gradually,
the
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a
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 situation that
make
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makes
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 several
people
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 argue that the negative consequences of
tourism
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 are more prominent than the positive impact. I do not agree that the
disdvantages
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disadvantages
 of tourist trips
overcome
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the advantages,
this
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 essay will discuss both positivities and negativities and outline the reasons behind my opinion. One of the main problems behind
tourism
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 tours is the difficulty
to maintain
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of maintaining
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 fixed schedules.
Becuase
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Because
 having many destinations to reach in a limited time is quite challenging, and if that
happened
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happens
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, the tourist will be unsatisfied,
thus
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, he will not pay for the services.
Also
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,
this
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 will affect
this
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 country's reputation.
Moreover
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, having too many visitors is challenging to handle, given the fact
the
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that
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 the leader needs to understand all participants' needs and try his or her best to meet them, so, any small mistake might lead to drastic consequences. Personally, I do not think that
this
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 is a huge problem
,
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apply
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 since it can be
sovled
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solved
 easily by setting more strategies to deal with quantity and quality at the same time; like hiring more tourist guides,
divide
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dividing
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 the incoming visitors into various groups, and
encourge
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encouraging
 establishing more travelling agencies.
On the other hand
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, the advantages of active
tourism
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 can supply the country financially and give cultural diversity. More
people
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 coming in means that more money is going to be spent, which
also
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 suggests that the national benefit is increased.
Furthermore
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, that will
be adding
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add
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 more meaningful values to the community by discovering different traditions from
foreneigrs
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forensics
. A good example would be my home country, Jordan, where it has one of the Seventh Wonders of the World, Petra, the Pink City.
People
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 from all around the globe come to see
this
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 mariculous piece of art, I personally met
people
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form
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from
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the
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apply
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Great
Britin
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Britain
 at the hotel, and they showed me the combination of their traditional breakfast; white beans, red sauce and toasted bread.
This
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 exchange is precious and you can not achieve it without
tourism
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 acts,
that is
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 why I believe it
overcome
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overcomes
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 the minor
negativties
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negativities
negatives
 of bad planning skills. In conclusion, despite that
tourism
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 has some bad aspects like poor leadership, it brings many good impacts
such
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 as living diversity, the absolute cause that makes me believe that these good points outweigh the bad ones.
Submitted by makahlehaseel on

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coherence cohesion
It is crucial to ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the argument should flow naturally from one point to the next. Aim for a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion and outline the main points to be covered. The conclusion should effectively summarize the discussion and restate the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
Each main point in your essay should be well-supported by relevant examples or arguments. Avoid making generic statements without backing them up with specific examples or a detailed explanation.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. The essay should present a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, followed by a reasoned conclusion regarding the writer's opinion about whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
task achievement
Aim to present clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure that each paragraph's main idea is expressed clearly and that the supporting sentences elaborate on that idea appropriately. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your ideas are developed adequately.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. Select examples that clearly demonstrate the impact of tourism and help to explain your position. Personal examples can be effective, but they should be directly related to the topic and contribute to the argument being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
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