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Band 2

children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amount #money #adult #life #brough #parents
it is often
arguee
Correct your spelling
argued
argue
argues
 that
children
 who
are
Verb problem
grow
show examples
growth
 up in poor
families
 are better
challanged
Correct your spelling
challenged
 with
problems
 of adult
life
 than wealthy
families
'
children
. I
am fully
Change the verb form
fully agree
show examples
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
 opinion.
Children
 who
are
Verb problem
grow
show examples
growth
 up in rich
families
 do not deal with the
problems
 of adult
life
. first of all, in my opinion,
children
 who
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 up in
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
envorinment
Correct your spelling
environment
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 weak phsylogicly.
Thus
 they when
meet
Verb problem
they encounter
show examples
 any
problems
 in adult
life
 try to run
this
 problem
instead
find
Wrong verb form
of finding
show examples
 to solution. They think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can't overcome
this
 issue on their own.
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are expecting that their whole
problems
 are
soluted
Verb problem
solved
show examples
 by parents.
For example
, most of science
brought
Add a missing verb
is brought
show examples
 up in poor
families
. they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 more resolute and never gave up. in
shortly
Change the word
short
show examples
, poverty
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 be more
determination
Replace the word
determined
show examples
.
In other words
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 who
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 up in rich
families
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do not have any ideas of their own. Rich parents are growing up their
children
 to replace
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in the future.
In addition
, they
are seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 as
Add an article
an investment
show examples
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, wealth
life
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 psychology and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
to overcome
Change preposition
from overcoming
show examples
 any
problems
 in the future.
Submitted by mikma on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a coherent structure. It is important to organize your ideas clearly and logically, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph presents a clear main idea that is expanded upon with supporting details.
Task Achievement
You have attempted to present relevant arguments, but your essay fails to fully develop these ideas. Remember to support each point with explanations or examples to illustrate how they relate to the topic. Additionally, the task response requires you to discuss both sides to some extent, even if you have a strong opinion, to show a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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