children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
it is often
arguee
that Correct your spelling
argued
argue
argues
children
who are
Verb problem
grow
growth
up in poor families
are better challanged
with Correct your spelling
challenged
problems
of adult life
than wealthy families
' children
.
I am fully
Change the verb form
fully agree
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
this
opinion. Children
who are
Verb problem
grow
growth
up in rich families
do not deal with the problems
of adult life
.
first of all, in my opinion, children
who growth
up in Replace the word
grow
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
envorinment
Correct your spelling
environment
has
weak phsylogicly. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Thus
they when meet
any Verb problem
they encounter
problems
in adult life
try to run this
problem instead
find
to solution. They think thatWrong verb form
of finding
,
they can't overcome Remove the comma
apply
this
issue on their own. childrens
are expecting that their whole Correct your spelling
children
problems
are soluted
by parents. Verb problem
solved
For example
, most of science brought
up in poor Add a missing verb
is brought
families
. they was
more resolute and never gave up.
in Change the verb form
were
shortly
, poverty Change the word
short
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
to
be more Correct pronoun usage
us to
determination
. Replace the word
determined
In other words
, childrens
who Correct your spelling
children
growth
up in rich Replace the word
grow
families
have
do not have any ideas of their own. Rich parents are growing up their Unnecessary verb
apply
children
to replace they
in the future. Correct pronoun usage
them
In addition
, they are seeing
their Wrong verb form
see
childrens
as Correct your spelling
children
Add an article
an investment
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
to
Change preposition
in
future
.
In Correct article usage
the future
conclude
, wealth Replace the word
conclusion
life
affect
Change the verb form
affects
childrens'
psychology and Change noun form
children's
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
Correct pronoun usage
them to
to overcome
any Change preposition
from overcoming
problems
in the future.Submitted by mikma on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a coherent structure. It is important to organize your ideas clearly and logically, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph presents a clear main idea that is expanded upon with supporting details.
Task Achievement
You have attempted to present relevant arguments, but your essay fails to fully develop these ideas. Remember to support each point with explanations or examples to illustrate how they relate to the topic. Additionally, the task response requires you to discuss both sides to some extent, even if you have a strong opinion, to show a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.