Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?
Nowadays
people
can move where their
want, so a lot of them prefer to move Correct pronoun usage
they
on
from village to megapolis, Change preposition
apply
it
causes Correct pronoun usage
which
to
one big problem called overcrowding. But Change preposition
apply
government
can increase Correct article usage
the government
taxes
for immigrants to build extra buildings and to expansion
territories from outside of Replace the word
expand
city
.
As it is obvious from worlddata.com Add an article
the city
a city
cities
have issues with overpopulation, because of migrants from rural area
. If we compare big Fix the agreement mistake
areas
cities
and villages, the latter already has increasing
population and the former does notCorrect article usage
an increasing
has
. Because of low level of Unnecessary verb
apply
proportion
of Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
public
. Add an article
the public
For example
, Kazakhstan statements show
show that Almaty is overcrowded because it existed Verb problem
apply
from
Change preposition
since
17
century and Correct article usage
the 17
people
almost lived there before and
near Correct word choice
apply
for
Change preposition
apply
this
city has
Verb problem
is
village
named Esik where Add an article
a village
people
started living in 19
century and it is not increasing in count of citizens
Correct your spelling
the 19th
However
, politicians can save us from overpopulation issue
if Fix the agreement mistake
issues
their
increase Correct pronoun usage
they
taxes
for movers and add to cities
new
territories to build. Correct word choice
and new
Government
should control count of migrants and by increasing Correct article usage
The government
taxes
build new buildings by
their money. Because It will get rid of future problems for a Change preposition
with
while
. For example
, Israel
Correct article usage
the Israel
government
make cash for high scrapers from people
how
are moved into Israel, skating Correct word choice
who
by
they found Correct word choice
apply
solution
Add an article
a solution
about
overcrowding.
In conclusion, Change preposition
to
people
who want to move on from rural areas into cities
can make
trouble for city by making Verb problem
cause
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
overcrowding
place and Wrong verb form
overcrowded
government
can solve Correct article usage
the government
it
by adding Correct pronoun usage
this
for
migrants extra Change preposition
apply
taxes
and conquering
new grounds to build Verb problem
creating
a
buildingsCorrect article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which is essential for the reader to follow the argument easily. Consider creating well-defined paragraphs, starting with an introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that each deal with one aspect of the issues and solutions, and finally a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main ideas more fully by explaining them in depth and adding supporting details. It will be beneficial to expand on the points made, using more sophisticated sentence forms and clearer argumentation.
task achievement
In addressing the task, the response needs to be more complete. Make sure to cover all parts of the question, providing a balance between discussing problems caused by rural to urban migration and proposing solutions. Each aspect should be explored and backed up by specific examples or data.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to illustrate the points made. The examples provided are unclear or inadequately explained. Strengthen your arguments by providing clear, relevant, and specific examples that support your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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