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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

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Technological development has granted humans a more comfortable lifestyle, and it has given them
resources
Correct article usage
the resources

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 to interact efficiently across the globe. Nothing comes without a cost, though. The more technology we access, the more complications we will face in the future.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it all seems like bad news, the advantages must
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 be mentioned.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will contrast both views and conclude whether it is more beneficial or not. "Digital nomads" is a relatively new term that was brought up in the early 2020s. Its meaning relates to a
traveler
Change the spelling
traveller

The spelling of traveler is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 that voyages around the world
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 working on his/her computer. Another term is "ex-pats" which means American or Canadian citizens who are living in Mexico illegally. As it may not sound harmful for the culture these guys are living in, the reality is their irregular status in a country where they do not belong is affecting deeply locals' economies.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Mexico City has suffered from
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun phenomena. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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, where nationals have been displaced from
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods

The spelling of neighborhoods is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 they inhabited for decades, all
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 price rents skyrocketing as foreigners can afford it. I believe the market should be regulated and expats, who want to come and live in the nation, have to stick to national immigration programs.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, economic development and benefits from tourism and taxes generate income for the government.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it is yet to be regulated, no one can deny it is a way of helping a nation's growth. In conclusion, I strongly believe and would encourage foreigners to stay in a different country,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, following the same rules and a fair market strategy that must look after their citizens
first,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rather than giving all the benefits to expats and digital nomads.

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task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. The introduction should have a clearer thesis statement, and the body paragraphs need to directly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully and evenly. While the disadvantages are examined, the advantages require more elaboration and direct comparison to offer a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain logical sequencing of ideas by using cohesive devices and clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader through your discussion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support each main point. The essay mentioned 'economic development' as an advantage but failed to offer a concrete example of this.
task achievement
The conclusion should summarize the main points and clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, based on the preceding arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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