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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows three different age groups and their responses when asked which technology they would find it hard to give up.

The chart below shows three different age groups and their responses when asked which technology they would find it hard to give up.
The bar chart below illustrates three different age groups and their responses to giving up six various types of technology.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 18-25 year old’s found it hardest to give up their mobile
phone
Use synonyms
. For the
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
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category
Add a comma
category,
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 the internet would be difficult, followed by the telephone and washing
machine
Use synonyms
. Those over 60
also
Linking Words
 found these 2 appliances hard to let go of
as well as
Linking Words
 the TV. Looking at the chart in more detail,the highest figure was 38% for the mobile
phone
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by the TV (22%) and the internet at 18. The washing
machine
Use synonyms
 was the lowest statistic at 3%. Around a quarter of those in the 34-49 year column consisted of the internet and an equal number of 22% was for the washing
machine
Use synonyms
 and telephone. The percentage for
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 was around 12%, which is nearly 3 times less compared to the
18 year olds
Add a hyphen
18-year-olds
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. Those who were 60-74, had similar figures for the washing
machine
Use synonyms
 and telephone, these being respectively 25%. The TV has high numbers as well, which was 22. The mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 was the lowest for them at a percentage of 8%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, machine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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