In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?
The importance of owning a home rather than renting an apartment has always been debated many
community
claim that it is beneficial Change to a plural noun
communities
while
others reject this
. I believe that it is a positive development by owning a home. I agree with the formal notion of discord.
To initiate , Property is indispensable for public
to purchase lands and build trailers which causes humans to be stressed Add an article
the public
while
owning a home and making wealth by buying lands which helps to increase their portfolio in the future. Further
, landowners focus on their careers as well and spend time with family members also
easily manage their expanses and have no tension for monthly mortgages. The economy will grow no longer in poverty will because by this
personsociety
will be employed by constructing houses we need architecture, building materials, furniture, carpenter, and electrition which is all get work and earn a salary which will help to bill flow in the economy and the country will be developed.
There are some negative developments who are working or studying under the ages of 30 to 21 between those ages youngsters spend too much property on liabilities Correct your spelling
person society
person-society
such
as,
cars or apartments. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, they get loans from banks for purchasing hospitals and cars , therefore
, making too many debt traps at an early age that's the reason they are not capable of earning capital sufficient to buy shelter further
they are not able to pay back loans to banks. So, from my perspective younger community need to rent an apartment while
they are studying and working it will help to maintain an easy life.
To conclude
, Although
it is a positive development who have enough capital to purchase property and for the economy of the nation few negative impacts under the age of 30 will not be denied.Submitted by prit699731 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent logical structure; consider using clear and concise paragraphs that flow logically from one to the next. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it relates directly to the question.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present but could be better defined and structured to encapsulate the main thesis and summary of arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples and explanations. Many statements are too general or lack the evidence to support them. The inclusion of precise details will strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Ensure you are answering all parts of the question thoroughly. The essay does partially address the causes and implications of home-ownership, but the explanation is not wholly clear or comprehensive.
task achievement
Strive to express ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on the clarity of expression and development of ideas to make sure that all parts of the question are addressed in a balanced manner.
task achievement
Include more pertinent and specific examples to back up arguments. Examples should be clearly linked to the points being made and directly relevant to the question prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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