In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global life, the number of
people
who are living in cities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increasing rapidly.
Along with
the rise of population, the
improving
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
and the
prorities
Correct your spelling
priorities
of convenience are now
paid
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
many attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
much attention
show examples
,
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
system particularly. Some
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that government should invest in building
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
,
while
others
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that improving public
transport
is more important. In my personal, I agree that fast train will make life easier and more convenient. On the one hand, railway lines move high so there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
no
obtacles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
obstacle
or traffic congestion in there.
People
can reach
the
Change the word
their
show examples
destination quickly
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
affordable price.
For example
, if we travel by vehicles
such
as buses or taxies, it could
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
them 15’ to 30’ to get there, but when we use
mega
Add an article
the mega
show examples
speedy railway, the time will be shortened and it can help
people
not to miss an important appointment or late for work.
Moreover
,
this
means of trains can
also
protect the environment as it is run by electricity – a friendly environmentally power. Protecting nature is the main purpose and
also
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a global issue nowadays.
For example
, Viet Nam is considered
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
one of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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countries that has a high rate of
evironmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution and the speedy trains project meets all of these needs.
On the other hand
, I think the road systems is
also
a great project,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it has some drawbacks affecting on the
people
lives. Public
transport
is run
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
fuel and it can lead to air pollution.
Furthermore
,
people
usually meet the congestion phenomenon when they move at rush hour as each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
has their own means of
transport
and
this
can be a limitation for
cities
Change the noun form
city
show examples
dwellers. In conclusion,
metropolis
Correct your spelling
metropolises
show examples
are now
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
with the changing of the
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
for commuters.
However
, the
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
need
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needs
show examples
to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
set out some policies and provide
economic
Add an article
an economic
show examples
boon to
develop
Change the verb form
developing
show examples
their countries.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your position. Body paragraphs need clear topic sentences, followed by support and examples. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
development
Develop your paragraphs properly. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea, and every subsequent sentence should add information or analysis that supports that idea. Avoid introducing unrelated topics within the same paragraph.
cohesion
Link your ideas and paragraphs with transition words and phrases to make your reasoning easier to follow. Logical connectors such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'for example' can help with the flow of the essay but use them appropriately and vary your language.
task response
Address all parts of the task. The essay needs a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Ensure you give equal attention to discussing both the construction of new fast railway lines and the improvement of existing public transport.
examples
Support your ideas with specific reasons and examples. Your arguments will be more convincing if you include specific examples, facts, or statistics. Avoid making general statements without supporting evidence.
grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of structures. Your writing contains several grammatical errors and awkward constructions, which impede understanding. Proofread your work, and pay attention to sentence structure, verb forms, and article usage.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary. Try to articulate your ideas using a variety of words and phrases to avoid repetition and demonstrate lexical resource.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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