In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
the
global life, the number of Correct article usage
apply
people
who are living in cities are
increasing rapidly. Change the verb form
is
Along with
the rise of population, the improving
in Replace the word
improvement
techonology
and the Correct your spelling
technology
prorities
of convenience are now Correct your spelling
priorities
paid
Wrong verb form
paying
many attentions
, Fix the agreement mistake
much attention
transport
system particularly. Some Correct article usage
the transport
belief
that government should invest in building Replace the word
believe
railway
, Correct article usage
a railway
while
others belive
that improving public Correct your spelling
believe
transport
is more important. In my personal, I agree that fast train will make life easier and more convenient.
On the one hand, railway lines move high so there is
no Correct subject-verb agreement
are
obtacles
or traffic congestion in there. Correct your spelling
obstacles
obstacle
People
can reach the
destination quickly Change the word
their
with
Change preposition
at
the
affordable price. Correct article usage
an
For example
, if we travel by vehicles such
as buses or taxies, it could takes
them 15’ to 30’ to get there, but when we use Change the verb form
take
mega
speedy railway, the time will be shortened and it can help Add an article
the mega
people
not to miss an important appointment or late for work. Moreover
, this
means of trains can also
protect the environment as it is run by electricity – a friendly environmentally power. Protecting nature is the main purpose and also
be
a global issue nowadays. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, Viet Nam is considered being
one of the Change the verb form
to be
most
countries that has a high rate of Correct quantifier usage
apply
evironmental
pollution and the speedy trains project meets all of these needs.
Correct your spelling
environmental
On the other hand
, I think the road systems is also
a great project, however
it has some drawbacks affecting on the Add a comma
however,
people
lives. Public transport
is run by
fuel and it can lead to air pollution. Change preposition
on
Furthermore
, people
usually meet the congestion phenomenon when they move at rush hour as each people
has their own means of Fix the agreement mistake
person
transport
and this
can be a limitation for cities
dwellers.
In conclusion, Change the noun form
city
metropolis
are now Correct your spelling
metropolises
concered
with the changing of the Correct your spelling
concerned
transports
for commuters. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
However
, the governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
need
to Change the verb form
needs
be
set out some policies and provide Unnecessary verb
apply
economic
boon to Add an article
an economic
develop
their countries.Change the verb form
developing
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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your position. Body paragraphs need clear topic sentences, followed by support and examples. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
development
Develop your paragraphs properly. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea, and every subsequent sentence should add information or analysis that supports that idea. Avoid introducing unrelated topics within the same paragraph.
cohesion
Link your ideas and paragraphs with transition words and phrases to make your reasoning easier to follow. Logical connectors such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'for example' can help with the flow of the essay but use them appropriately and vary your language.
task response
Address all parts of the task. The essay needs a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion. Ensure you give equal attention to discussing both the construction of new fast railway lines and the improvement of existing public transport.
examples
Support your ideas with specific reasons and examples. Your arguments will be more convincing if you include specific examples, facts, or statistics. Avoid making general statements without supporting evidence.
grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and range of structures. Your writing contains several grammatical errors and awkward constructions, which impede understanding. Proofread your work, and pay attention to sentence structure, verb forms, and article usage.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary. Try to articulate your ideas using a variety of words and phrases to avoid repetition and demonstrate lexical resource.