Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Some people argue that the younger generation should consider successful sportsmen as their idols,
while
others discuss that their behavior
which is Change the spelling
behaviour
applyed
both on and off the field is unhealthy and could have a negative impact. Correct your spelling
applied
Although
there are some useful features that make the athletes worthwhile to follow, they have so unpleasant behaviours that they never make a proper choice for young people to build their destiny upon that.
On the one hand, there certainly is a reason that some athletes achieve great success. From a normal person’s outlook, you should develop healthy and useful habits to be successful. For example
, a professional football player should do certain things every day for a long time to grow his soccer skills. Moreover
, he should have a large amount of discipline and
endeavour and hard work. Correct word choice
apply
Otherwise
, they would stay normal just like how it is seen in life.
On the other hand
, great sports achievers at some point in the professional’s timeline want to win at any cost. Moreover
, they don’t have a healthy social and private life, where most of them aren’t loyal in their relationship and some of them encourage young people to take drugs. Research has shown that more than forty percent
of teenagers Change the spelling
per cent
said
they take drugs because they think it’s cool and makes them look like their role Wrong verb form
say
model
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
models
while
there is a necessity to obtain some useful habits from athletes , they should never be considered as
life idols because of the many moral flaws they have. They Change preposition
apply
also
make many mistakes irresponsibly without noticing the position they have in people’s lives.Submitted by sunya.karami on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly introduce both sides of the argument and your conclusion should restate your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs clearly. Your essay should logically progress from one idea to the next, and each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples. While you have given some general examples, more specific and concrete details would strengthen your argument.
Task Response
Make sure you respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should discuss both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion. While you have included both views and an opinion, there could be a more balanced discussion and stronger personal viewpoint.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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