Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Some people argue that the younger generation should consider successful sportsmen as their idols,

while

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others discuss that their

behavior

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behaviour

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which is

applyed

Correct your spelling

applied

both on and off the field is unhealthy and could have a negative impact.

Although

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there are some useful features that make the athletes worthwhile to follow, they have so unpleasant behaviours that they never make a proper choice for young people to build their destiny upon that. On the one hand, there certainly is a reason that some athletes achieve great success. From a normal person’s outlook, you should develop healthy and useful habits to be successful.

For example

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, a professional football player should do certain things every day for a long time to grow his soccer skills.

Moreover

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, he should have a large amount of discipline

and

Correct word choice

apply

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endeavour and hard work.

Otherwise

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, they would stay normal just like how it is seen in life.

On the other hand

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, great sports achievers at some point in the professional’s timeline want to win at any cost.

Moreover

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, they don’t have a healthy social and private life, where most of them aren’t loyal in their relationship and some of them encourage young people to take drugs. Research has shown that more than forty

percent

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per cent

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of teenagers

said

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say

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they take drugs because they think it’s cool and makes them look like their role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

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. In conclusion,

while

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there is a necessity to obtain some useful habits from athletes , they should never be considered

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apply

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life idols because of the many moral flaws they have. They

also

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make many mistakes irresponsibly without noticing the position they have in people’s lives.

sunya.karamiMon Dec 25 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly introduce both sides of the argument and your conclusion should restate your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs clearly. Your essay should logically progress from one idea to the next, and each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.

Supported Main Points

Support your main points with specific examples. While you have given some general examples, more specific and concrete details would strengthen your argument.

Task Response

Make sure you respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should discuss both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion. While you have included both views and an opinion, there could be a more balanced discussion and stronger personal viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Your opinion

If people could choose between a life without working or a life spending too much time working, people would choose a life without work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

bicycle is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport why is it still not popular at many places? what a can be done to increase popularity of cycling ?

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or a sporting event) Is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?