The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
some people believe that
this
world would be better if there were only single
Correct article usage
a single
government
for the whole planet rather than one
government
for each country
. Having centralized policies would certainly give the population one
specific culture and remove cultural diversity. First of all one
government
could give an expectation of diversity reduction. In every countries
there are a lot of differences, Change to a singular noun
country
for
example
Add a comma
example,
behavior
of each Change the spelling
behaviour
countries
shows what the Change to a singular noun
country
country
is. Moreover
, if every country
is governed by one
national leader means
there would be a chance of cultural Verb problem
apply
changing
. Replace the word
change
thus
, it removed its own icon.
Secondly
, there would be a lack of national identity to exhibit how the society live
in the state. Change the verb form
lives
Furthermore
, having a government
of
each Change preposition
in
country
also
makes the leader to
regulate who will control people's education, economy, and others clearer. What is Change the verb form
apply
more
Add a comma
more,
there
would be easier to track people to have a job abroad. Correct pronoun usage
it
Also
, society could feel the difference between other country
and their homeland.
To
Change preposition
In
the
conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
single
national leader may have Add an article
the single
a single
good
Correct article usage
a good
impacts
. Fix the agreement mistake
impact
however
, the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. Likewise
, it can lead to less cultural diversity that
the Change preposition
in
country
has
. I believe multiple Unnecessary verb
apply
authority
would guide a Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
country
to be better than before.Submitted by syifensaft
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. You should aim to organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea. Try to ensure that there is a coherent flow to your argument by using linking words and phrases effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
You need to work on developing your paragraphs with well-supported arguments. Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and make sure that each paragraph remains focused on a single idea that is relevant to the question. Avoid making unsupported generalizations.
Task Achievement
Your response does not fully address the prompt, as it does not clearly discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a single global government. Make sure to address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion that illustrates both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
While you offer some ideas related to the topic, they need to be expressed more comprehensively and with greater clarity. Aim for detailed development of your ideas with clearer explanations. Avoid vague statements and ensure that the essay remains relevant to the topic throughout.
Task Achievement
The use of relevant examples is crucial for illustrating your points and making your essay more convincing. Make use of specific and detailed examples to support your arguments, rather than making general statements without evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.