School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a widely held belief that school
teachers
Use synonyms
have a greater impact than
parents
Use synonyms
on
students
Use synonyms
' cognitive and social development.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
claim, as
parents
Use synonyms
are the primary and lifelong educators.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
parents
Use synonyms
are the first and most important
teachers
Use synonyms
for their
children
Use synonyms
. From the moment a child is born,
parents
Use synonyms
provide them with a secure and nurturing
environment
Use synonyms
that fosters confidence and social skills.
Parents
Use synonyms
teach their
children
Use synonyms
how to interact with others and model positive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
as respect towards humans and the
environment
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
who receive parental guidance are more likely to be successful socially and intellectually.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
play an essential role in
students
Use synonyms
' cognitive development by presenting invaluable academic knowledge and core subjects, they cannot achieve
this
Linking Words
without parental guidance.
Parents
Use synonyms
are the only ones who can monitor and supervise the learning outcomes of their
children
Use synonyms
. Creating a supportive
environment
Use synonyms
at home can enhance
students
Use synonyms
' abstract thinking, productivity and perception to the fullest. Specialists have confirmed that a loving home
environment
Use synonyms
helps
students
Use synonyms
achieve the highest academic level and reach their intellectual potential. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
play a critical role in
students
Use synonyms
' lives, I believe that
parents
Use synonyms
are the only ones who can impact their
children
Use synonyms
's lives in all aspects.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that
parents
Use synonyms
are the primary educators who create a meaningful impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the cognitive and social development of
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by massaasaad7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You need to fully address all parts of the task. The essay should clearly state your position and then develop supporting arguments throughout. While you do express a clear opinion, it should be supported by a wider range of ideas and examples relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument. The essay as it stands lacks variety in linking words and phrases, which can lead to a sense of repetition. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea supported by specific evidence and examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuances
  • responsibility
  • intellectual development
  • social development
  • structured learning environment
  • curriculum
  • diverse interactions
  • group activities
  • conflict resolution
  • foundational impact
  • core values
  • beliefs
  • attitudes
  • nurturing
  • joint responsibility
  • collaboration
  • continuous dialogue
  • distinct roles
  • underestimate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: