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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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The pie charts compare the Proportion of consumption
water
Use synonyms
 in six different areas, North and
south
Capitalize word
South
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 America, Europe, Africa, and Central and South
east
Capitalize word
East
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Asia
Use synonyms
 on the basis of Agricultural, Domestic, and Industrial use.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
water
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 which is used for the purpose of farming and food production is the greatest deal in all areas except North America Which it’s the most amount of utilized
water
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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for the purpose of industrial. The usage of
water
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 domestically has the lowest rate. In Central
Use synonyms
Asia
Add a comma
Asia,
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 the utilization of
water
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 is much more than
other
Change preposition
in other
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 regions at about 9 out of 10 and European consumes the lowest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 in
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
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 at about a third.
While
Linking Words
 in Europe the highest sum of
water
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 approximately half percent
uses
Wrong verb form
used
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 in industrial areas and in central
Asia
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 a negligible quantity of
water
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 is utilized in factories. South East
Asia
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 and Central
Asia
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 consumed
water
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 domestically is equal at 7% and
this
Linking Words
 rate in South America is more than others at around a fifth.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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