IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The pie charts compare the Proportion of consumption
water
Use synonyms
 in six different areas, North and
south
Capitalize word
South
show examples
 America, Europe, Africa, and Central and South
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 on the basis of Agricultural, Domestic, and Industrial use.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 which is used for the purpose of farming and food production is the greatest deal in all areas except North America Which it’s the most amount of utilized
water
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
for the purpose of industrial. The usage of
water
Use synonyms
 domestically has the lowest rate. In Central
Use synonyms
Asia
Add a comma
Asia,
show examples
 the utilization of
water
Use synonyms
 is much more than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 regions at about 9 out of 10 and European consumes the lowest amount of
water
Use synonyms
 in
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
 at about a third.
While
Linking Words
 in Europe the highest sum of
water
Use synonyms
 approximately half percent
uses
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in industrial areas and in central
Asia
Use synonyms
 a negligible quantity of
water
Use synonyms
 is utilized in factories. South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 consumed
water
Use synonyms
 domestically is equal at 7% and
this
Linking Words
 rate in South America is more than others at around a fifth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: